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I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. My boyfriend of 2 years is now in a halfway house after spending time in jail and then rehab. He seems to really want to change his life around, attending meetings and iop, church, has a sponsor and got a job. I have never used drugs and don't fully understand the disease but I'm trying to educate myself on it as much as possible. Yesterday I went to see him and he said that if anyone asks to tell them that we've been in a relationship for much longer than what we really have been. I asked him why and he said because he's not suppose to be in a relationship right now. I don't understand that at all. I don't understand why being in a relationship and having someone supporting you along your recovery would be a bad thing. He has no family so it's just me. If the people that are trying to help him though are suggesting that he not be in a relationship it makes me feel like maybe I will somehow hinder his recovery. He said there is nothing to worry about but Idk. I'm just very confused
Hi Krista,
I'm new here and well, dealing with a mess myself; but I just wanted to offer the little insight that I know regarding what you are taking about – it's my understanding that once one is sober/clean, they aren't to enter a relationship with anyone for so long (a year, maybe?) I'm sure another member would be better able to elaborate on it.
Have you considered getting into counseling yourself? Might be a good move, as I know my therapist has really helped me worth through things as I go.
Sending tons of support your way!
FR
My question is, how do you determine if they are actually in recovery? My bf has smoked pot everyday for 50 years. We have been together for 7, I did not know how much he smoked when we got together, and we have had fights about this for at least 5 years now. I finally had enough and issued an ultimatum, quit or I’m done. He lives in another state and tells me he is quitting, but it takes time. He says he went to a couple NA meetings, but that doesn’t apply to him, he only does weed, not cocaine or heroine. I feel like he isn’t taking his addiction seriously or understanding the enormity of the damage he has done. Not having smoked a joint in a couple weeks…but he has a dab pen and captain Morgan every night. I don’t know if I can honestly say he is in recovery, but I’m not a recovery expert.
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