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Last Thursday..yeah the day before Valentine's Day he left.He got what he wanted…A van,money and his crack.He said he was heading to Ohio,but I take it he ended back in his crack world.Last Sunday he called to say he was in a homeless shelter,I wouldn't talk to him since he just got off of a binge.I haven't heard from him since.I need to heal I need to move on.I do miss the part of the lost dreams and hopes that I think is the most devastating,at night I seem to melt down.I hate this,but it is for the best.accepting and letting go are the hardest things for me.I just hope he gives me enough time to get stronger.It has been more peaceful in the house,but a little anxiety I guess of the unknown.not knowing what he is doing or if he is gonna stop by.I guess I have conflicting feelings..relief,yet sad….I know this is for the best.I hate this crap…I feel like Ive been to a funeral and Im the only mourner..but I guess being married for almost 16 years. Ive had a lot of time vested in him,plus lost and broken hopes and dreams. Thanks for listening to me …
I know you posted this a while ago, and I hope you are doing well. The fear of the unknown and the newness of your empty bed at night must make you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Grieving is a good way to cope with your loss, in fact, I don't believe you would be able to move forward without it. That being said…..YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! We are here for you!!!
26 years ago I let my brother go. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. He got clean 12 years later but I was skeptical about it. I finally allowed myself to reunite with him after he was 3 years clean. It was a wonderful time, a healing time for us both, and it is even harder now to let go now he has thrown away 13 years of sobriety. Healing takes a while, be patient and kind to yourself.
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