I Know It Is Time For D to Leave|What does it really mean to \"let go with love?\"|Message Boards|Nar-Anon Chat™

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I Know It Is Time For D to Leave
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5 Posts
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April 29, 2016 - 7:07 pm

This is something I have been struggling with. I know that I want my Loved One to leave. This person told me they are going to leave and go to another state. ALO has been out of treatment which was rather short for a good 6 weeks or so.

ALO has a friend who invited ALO to move their. They are quite well off.

It has been murderous here since treatment. Does not wish to pursue any further recovery. Has been out of work for quite some time.

I know I Am Ready ~ BUT~ if I say go ALO will stay or find an excuse not to go.

And I do not have it in me to say OKAY.

ALO loses control very easily and at times has become violent….breaking things around the house. I have been pushed. The screaming at the top of ALO
lungs is unbearable.

In this state there is Eviction which takes (3) months.

Said she would burn down the house and destroy my car if I evict.

I have wanted to sell this house and buy a different type of home. I am not taking her with me I would give her money to get set up.

But there is the rageful behavior which can escalate easily.

I would like for her to go to the other state with friend. I know that in a few weeks I will get the call "I want to come home". And once again it would be no money, no job and she wants to sell the car I just bought her last month.

She says she is clean and maybe clean I haven't seen her high. Her prescription of Suboxone will run out soon and maybe it did and then her behavior goes haywire again.

My ex pays for her health insurance and he just purchases a new policy. She swore she would see Psych to treat anxiety/depression and receive soboxone properly.

How Do We Get Them Out When They Can Become Violent????? I want my life back along with peace/quiet and financial freedom. Any suggestions welcome along with experience strength and hope.

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14 Posts
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January 20, 2017 - 9:38 pm

I do not have any experience, strength, and hope regarding this topic EXCEPT I had a boyfriend who abused me physically. I had to go to the police to report my black eye. At that time, I did not want to press charges. I then asked him to give me the keys and leave because we were living together. He refused to do that, so I called to police to make sure he did not remove my things when he moved out and did not attack me physically.

In the next comment, I will address some other things you can do about the situation.

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14 Posts
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January 20, 2017 - 9:43 pm

I wish I filed a restraining order. That man stalked me after I kicked him out. A restraining order is not a perfect solution, but it gives you some protection.

If you have the resources, you could have a realtor handle the sale of the house and have a representative negotiate the sales prices for you, because you might not be safe even going back to your old home. I would also recommend moving without a forwarding address and a way for you to pay any remaining utility bills privately. A post office box might also be helpful. Look into resources for increasing your privacy so you are less likely to be harassed by your ex-girlfriend. And for your safety, you may have to cut off all ties with her.

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