Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts who have occupied a significant amount of our time, energy and thought to fix that person. If we can fix it, we can control it. We can fix it had become our unwritten credo and obsession. It left little time for much else. In Step One, admitting that we were powerless over the addict left us with time and emotional void.
Moving from Step One to Step Two presents us with a realization that our lives were less than same. Are we ready to accept sanity? After all, insanity had become our norm.
Maybe if… I spend 24 hours a day with them they won’t use.
Maybe if… I use with them, they won’t use as much.
Maybe if… I control the money, they can’t use.
Maybe if… I get so ill they’ll be forced to take care of me, they won’t use.
Maybe if… I become the ideal lover, wife, husband, parent, child they won’t use.
Maybe if… I become the evil lover, wife, husband, parent, child they won’t use.
We had committed ourselves to insanity: doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. Changing our commitment to living with sanity presented us with a challenge.
Many of us have not had a defined relationship with a Higher Power. Many of us had rejected a notion of a Higher Power at earlier times in our lives. It can be helpful, at first, to allow ourselves to admit to the POSSIBILITY of a Higher Power. Sometimes, attempting to restore our trust in our own instincts and judgment can prepare us for acceptance.” Faith in a Higher Power may not strike us like a lightning bolt. “The focus and emphasis of our daily lives change. We see different results from our actions. We feel more confident in the challenges and choices that life presents. We can begin to feel, enjoy and trust again. Our Higher Power can free us from the anxiety we have carried.
It many take time to recognize our connection with our Higher Power. We slowly begin to let things happen. When we do this, glimmers of realization appear. We no longer expect that the worst will happen.
The phone no longer rings with the expectation of bad new.
We would hear a voice of encouragement and love when we were
feeling alone.
We thought we were the only one who’s VCRs had grown legs and
walked away”. then we hear others share about how their home
electronics had achieved metamorphosis.
We choose not to be alone to wait, cry and obsess.
We have new reactions to things instead of having a set response.
Things have changed. We begin to acknowledge that something or someone or some presence was caring for us in a sane way.
Other people’s images and descriptions of their Higher Power can help us connect with what we feel comfortable with. We have heard others say that their Higher Power is: “A ring of light; A cloud like presence that surrounds them; A sense of warmth and affection;”
Some have said that their Higher Power:”has a sense of humor;” “is accepting and forgiving;” “creates parking Karma;”
There are many, many more…….
Insanity was the result of our past behavior. Letting go of the control that created such a hold on us can be frightening, but, as we listen and learn from others, we can begin to feel and see miracles. Trust and acceptance in a Higher Power are bound to follow.
The Nar-Anon Twelve Step Program (yellow booklet), pgs., 6&7.
Never look down on someone unless you're leaning over to help them up.
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