My step two: Returning to the arms of my Higher Power.
I actually recently became just numb to everything my addict did in regards to him, our family, and me. Heâd want this but if he couldn't get it heâd be upset, so then Iâd be upset because I couldn't make it happen or maybe didn't want it to happen. It slowly just became where I didn't care if he got what he wanted or if I got what I wanted, it only mattered if our kids got what they needed.
So as I start my second step I have gone back to meditating alone, just releasing all the anger and frustration because I know it isn't healthy and it makes me more stressed. I have begun giving my patience back to my high power that I had grown apart from during my relationship. I actually have felt more in tune with my Higher Power since I started coming to meetings online here and chatting with others like myself. It helps.
I am not totally sure if I will be so sure in a week or a month, but I now can fully give in to that feeling of love from my Higher Power if I need strength to get through another day of arguments and crazy talk.
It also helps to know that I am not alone on this road, Higher Power and new friends will help me stay more sane than me alone.
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