I don’t know a single person in this world that is braver than those who work Step One!
Step One, in my opinion, is the hardest yet most rewarding step towards freeing oneself from the overwhelming feelings associated with world of addiction. It is hard because who wants to admit they are powerless? Aren’t I superwoman? Don’t I have a cape and the skills to fix anything?
Ummmm. Nope. I don’t! A harsh reality!
But I had to admit to myself, that my addict is going to do what he is going to do, in spite of what I think is in his best interests. I cannot control him. Sounds easier in writing than it is in real life, but I have found that it takes practice. Each time I realize that my addict made the choice to use again, it gets a little bit easier to go to work, sleep at night, and care for myself, and my child. It does not mean that I love him any less, just that I am making the choice to have a life that is more manageable and less chaotic.
Over the years, I have had many people say to me, but I just can’t abandon my addict. But I have learned that although at first it may feel that way, it really is not abandonment, just the first step to having a better life. It allowed me to break out of the addiction cycle, and admit to myself that something is seriously wrong with my life.
I have learned that it is a statistical fact that addicts almost never recovered on their own resources. But regardless of if my addict invests in his own recovery, I can still progress in mine by continuing to embrace Step One and the power it gives me to have the life I want to have.
Powerful and True!
I am 100% powerless when it comes to my addict!
I use to be superwoman, or so I thought.
I also have had to step out of the cycle plenty of times to regain my freedom from the addiction or at least long enough to see that I don't have to live like that.
This is where the choice becomes mine again and not "ours" or "his".
In my personal experience my addicts favorite saying is "what's mine is yours",
well that works both ways buddy!
This is my sobriety too!
Hi Carmensmom,
We just started a Step study group in one of the chatrooms. Sunday, Sept 8th, was our very first meeting. You are welcome to join us. We meet in the main chatroom about 7:55 pm EST, then move into the study room at 8 pm EST. Hope you will join us. If you are interested please send an email to ** you do not have permission to see this link **.
Yours in service and friendship,
Annie
Never look down on someone unless you're leaning over to help them up.
Thanks for sharing. I keep going over step one every time I hear my addict ask for money. Having assess to money is a down fall for him. I keep reminding myself I cannot control his behavior or prevent him from using. It is his money that I am holding and need for him to do whatever he wants to. I have to keep praying to God for myself and take care of myself.
After many, many, many denials, we finally confirmed that our daughter is a meth addict last night. I was so angry and out of control that I approached and confronted her dealer in public and now I have a police report. I need to start Step one. We have cut her off several weeks ago, anticipating that she lost her job over a positive drug test. Things are so out of control right now, but I am grateful to have her out of the house. I am grateful for some peace for my other child, but the waves of anger come so fast, though, and they are overwhelming.
When I thought I conquered step one, here I am again. Feels like my life is on rewind, but at the same time, it's much easier. I will say this, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." May our higher power guide us through this journey of recovery.
I am at step one. It has only been a couple weeks that I finally realized I'm powerless and I can't control my husband. I used to loose sleep calling him repeatedly and would argue and fight. I would shame him, threaten to leave, kick him out etc…to try to get him to stop and of course nothing ever worked. I finally said enough. I began to hear myself and thought "boy I sound crazy" I told myself "enough" my kids need my attention more then he does. I can't be consumed with this obsession anymore. I kept thinking if I'm nice if I'm happy all the time he will stop. Wrong…Ever since I decided to relinquish control I sleep and I can enjoy my time with my kids. Even if he doesn't come home until 3am. I still have my moments where I may cry for a minute thinking about him when I drive and our songs play on the radio but that's it. I feel like I'm slowly becoming myself again and I can let him decide when he is ready to go back to treatment and work on his recovery. I won't make him and I won't threaten him anymore. It is his choice when and it is my choice to be happy.
I am handling pills for three people who are highly dependent on pain medicine. They all have serious health problems, and one of them is dying from COPD and lung cancer. If I don't handle the pills, their health gets much worse. I don't enjoy handling the pills, but at least it keeps my dear hubby from going to the hospital. Two of them are taking care of my mother-in-law, who is dying. If they have withdrawals, they are unable to take care of her. I am a recovering addict, and yet, I am not tempted to become addicted to pain pills. However, handling them is stressful for me, because I have times I need to say "No" when they want more pills. Deciding whether to give them extra pills or not is taken on a case by case basis. However, the option of them not being able to take care of their mom is not a good one. Thank you for providing a safe place for me to share this.
[quote][b]Quote from wlk7002 on August 12, 2015, 15:09[/b]
After many, many, many denials, we finally confirmed that our daughter is a meth addict last night. I was so angry and out of control that I approached and confronted her dealer in public and now I have a police report. I need to start Step one. We have cut her off several weeks ago, anticipating that she lost her job over a positive drug test. Things are so out of control right now, but I am grateful to have her out of the house. I am grateful for some peace for my other child, but the waves of anger come so fast, though, and they are overwhelming. [/quote]
Omigosh. I am so grateful to have read that you are "grateful to have her out of the house." The peace I felt when my addict daughter left was making me feel SO guilty. I am so glad I am not the only one that feels that way! Now, if I could get my oldest non-addict daughter to stop hating me for "favoring" the addict daughter. I will admit it, I was a class A enabler. Now, I'm not. But convincing the oldest one of that will take lots of time. Therefore, i am stepping back from BOTH daughters. I need some peace. Thanks for helping me see I'm not alone.
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