Nar-Anon Chat™

As we come farther in the program, we can see that not all the faults lie with the addict. We too, play our role in this madness that has passed for a personal life. Maybe we’ve gotten more comfortable with talking at meetings about the parts of our life we used to think would always be too painful to talk about, but all that is a far cry from having to sit down and make a list of our most revolting characteristics and reveal them to a sponsor, clergy or other human being.

Take heart! A lot of “insane” people have passed this way before us. They became saner, happier and more peaceful on this very path. Now that we have done our inventory, it’s time to admit these faults to our Higher Power and ourselves. Our Higher Power is there, ready to take on any burden we feel ready to let go of. No judgment, no criticism, just acceptance and an ever present love.

We have met people with whom we have experiences in common, have gotten to know each other, and have found people from the program we can depend on, when we really needed them.

“This was brand new for me. I used to think needing other people was as bad as dying. I’d rather die than need them, because if I needed them, they’d just let me down,
and then things would be worse. But this needing stuff worked… NOW you’re telling me I’m supposed to admit my greatest faults, what I hate the most about myself?!?”

No more excuses. No more blaming other people for the messes in our lives. At first that sounds like a terrible idea. Actually, it’s a relief. We’ve worn so many faces to please the various people in our lives – bosses, neighbors, landlord, family members. It is a real relief not to have to keep track of, “Now, who am I to this one?”

Of course, pick a safe person to share with. Because part of getting healthy is learning to use our own good judgment, trusting our intuition about what’s safe and what’s not. Want to hear the good news? If we are thorough , really thorough in doing our inventory… we’re going to find our good qualities, too – such as our ability to get things done; our compassion and forgiving nature and giving spirit; our dependability and work ethic, etc… Our strengths that we have depended upon to survive can also be used for personal growth. These qualities are as much a part of us – in fact EQUAL to the faults and short comings we beat ourselves up with every day.

We can come out of the Step Five stronger, knowing we can finally depend on ourselves. This realization is a real milestone on the road to personal freedom.

Step Five asks me to totally trust another human being. Do I have the capacity for such trust?