Hi. I am the mom of a 28 year old addict daughter. Her DOC is meth (via IV). We've been dealing with this for a good 10 years now. She moves in and out of my home. She can't hold a job. She has a temper from hell. She is bipolar manic depressive, unmedicated. She's very manipulative, demanding, whiny, and in complete denial that she needs any rehab or therapy at all. My husband (her stepdad) has had all he can take. Frankly, so have I. She denies she uses at all. But I WAS a meth addict until 15 years ago, I know the signs. She has no car, so we are her taxi. She's only been at this job for 4 days, so we have been footing the bill for her wants/needs. She hates her job (of course), but it's the only one she could get w/o having to pass a drug test. My other two kids (1 older, 1 younger) are functioning, respected members of society. Just trying to figure out where I went wrong with this one, what I could have done differently. I tried so hard to set a good example for my kids, especially when I got clean. Thanks for letting me vent to you. Sorry if it seems disjointed, and all over the place. But I think that pretty much describes my entire state of mind lately, to be honest, lol.
I feel really bad, because her bf (also a meth addict) is working out of state right now (yes, he is actually working), is supposedly clean, and their plan is for them to get a place together when he gets back to town. He is also schizophrenic with "homicidal tendencies"-that is his clinical diagnosis, unmedicated of course. He's VERY controlling, and has been physically and emotionally abusive in the past. The reason I feel bad is, I don't even care anymore. I just want her out of my house before my marriage crumbles and I lose my mind. My husband (her stepdad) is fed up with her behavior. She is a very entitled person, feels like if she wants something, we should just give it to her. If she doesn't get it, she throws a temper tantrum like a child, and I usually give in just to shut her up. He doesn't. Lord, that girl stresses me out.
Sue…we met this morning and I am so happy to meet you and I look forward to seeing you again! I just read your post and I just want you to know that as a mom myself, that we can beat ourselves up until the cows come home. As moms we always blame ourselves for so many things that go wrong with our kids. It is so hard to separate their grown-up choices from feeling responsible when they choose harmful things. My son was addicted to meth when he was 15-20 yrs old (he is 40 yrs old now). He got his girlfriend pregnant when he was 17…..and at the same time he was dealing with a felony and 5 yrs in prison. He also was an alcoholic and to be honest, I dont know if he is clean, because we dont see each other much. I took care of his son right after he was born (April 29th, 1995) for over 3 yrs (11+ hours per day) and i worked a job that allowed me to get 40 hours in 3 days. I wanted to be able to care for my grandson but didnt realize that i was headed for burn-out as well as divorce from my husband of 17 yrs. The stress of all of this was the straw that broke the camels back….so i had a mental breakdown. I now have my 3rd husband, married 20 yrs now, who has been an addict before i met him. He kept it hidden because it was prescription medications and i suspected nothing…he was just such a gentleman, also a Christian man…so i thought i had found a good, stable man. Addiction is anew ball game for me….i used drugs and drank in my teens and also struggled with alcohol most of my young adult life, but i have not experienced addiction or how it feels to be addicted. I have learned that i have been a huge enabler / co-dependent because of my own issues…ugh, does it ever end? Anyway, since coming here to this room i am learning new tools and finding self-worth. I am standing up to my husband and this is causing more trouble than ever before but i am not willing to go back to be passive and enabling. I am sorry about rambling! Sue….welcome to a place of help, encouragement and love.
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