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This relationship broke me...
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1 Posts
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January 15, 2019 - 9:35 am

Hello, my name is Peach, and I literally just ended a long-time relationship with an addict yesterday. I am almost 39 years old and at my parents house because I didn’t know what to do with myself, but now I feel more alone than ever. I know one thing is for certain: he and I cannot work this one out, and our relationship has run me right into the ground. This man has taken everything from me physically, emotionally, and financially…and I allowed it to happen. I realize now how codependent we were on each other and how much I enabled him—to the point where he has stolen thousands of dollars, my identity, my own medication constantly, and even stole small, but sentimental things just to make me think I was crazy. He knew exactly how to manipulate me and turn everything he did around on me—like manipulators do. I took a chance on love, especially with him, and I am devestated how many times I’ve allowed him to gotet away with this. I feel like we are two grown children at the moment because he’s gotten his parents involved and mine are completely thrown by the whole thing. I’ve been very private about all this, so they were shocked when I showed up at their doorstep and finally told them everything. I am so humiliated, but he’s taken me for all I had, and I was such a mess all last semester, I took a leave from school where I’m studying for my master’s degree. I also lost my job, but am getting unemployment, which he’s stolen too. Yesterday, was the last straw. While I can’t blame him for all my problems , I can say a lot of my issues have stemmed from his prescription pill addiction, and while I hate the disease and what it’s done to him, I just can’t take his lies anymore. I came home to find my house trashed and he’d taken every gift he’d ever bought for me and for some reason all the cables to the back of the television that linked to the internet. I think he did this to try to sabotage school for me just like he unconsciously sabotaged everything else in my life by constantly “needing me,” and instead of purring my foot down, I allowed it to happen hoping by some miracle he’d learn, but he never does, and it always stars the same. This time was because he didn’t know what uSS he was so messed up @ work I had to go and pick him up
up. He had abused so many of his prescription medications he was not in reality and was seeing and hearing things that weren’t there. I tried to take him to the hospital and he wouldn’t let me and started cursing at me and calling me the most godawful names. I finally went to bed and when I woke up he was gone. I left and went to a drs apt and while I was there his mom called me and asked was he using, I was honest with her and i I told her what was going on. She didn’t seem too happy but what could she do? Other time I got home found has taken all my things that weren’t bolted to the ground basically and even Stone a necklace he bought me on my grandmother passed away. They say it’s the small things but tear relationship apart and this was that one thing. Now I have no Internet at my house he’s taking all my work clothes and have my shoes so I can’t go to work when I start my new job next week or so he thinks. His parents have done nothing even when I threatened to call the police, his dad said I said stay away and that he was just using me and that made me so upset. But now I no never to make the same mistake again around I just wish you were here with me sorry for what he did but he isn’t he sent me several for me emails saying he’s in a come get my house and get his things he has nothing left there he just wants the yard house for some reason probably stash drive she means I’m gonna have to clean make sure it’s all gone. I really don’t want to do with it right now. I am new to all this and I need some guidance and some help and some friends I’ve been alone for so long I don’t even know what a healthy relationship looks like I’m too scared to even go to an actual mean I just want my life to get better. I recognize I am powerless over his addiction but other than that I’m lost and broken .

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January 22, 2019 - 6:20 am

Just wanted to say I’m in a very similar situation right now. My husband is causing turmoil in our life right now and I’m trying to hide it from family but it’s coming to the point where I can’t anymore. I’m so broken my emotions are all over the place even on “good days”. My husband is my best friend and we are inseparable except when it comes to his addiction and I can’t help but to feel like he chooses drugs over me. When he uses he gets distant from me and it kills me bc we are inseparable usually, it’s like I look him in the eyes and I feel like I’m looking someone else in the eyes. He is causing so much financial problems that I feel like I’m going to end up on my gmas front porch and explain to her that I’ve been lying to hide/cover up his addiction for so long, just like you said you’ve done. I feel powerless and don’t know what to do I feel like I’m wetchung my life fall apart and I know where it’s headed and I can’t stop it. I allow the love for him to outway the love I have for myself. He is so manipulative and I know he’s being manipulative and I still can’t give up on him. I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m on a train with no brakes and I know I’m gonna hit a wall but I decide to stay on the train anyways. Hoping we could give each other words of encouragement, I could definitely use a friend also been trying to hide this for way to long.

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