Hello!
I have a son that is an addict. Thanks for being here as I feel I need people who are going through the same thing I am.
Long story… my son 2 rehabs, 3 years in, 3 times O.D., lost job, wrecked 2 cars, stole from me.
Me…same job 22 yrs, a few social clubs, friends, dog, fun person, outdoor lady, hunting, hiking, planting/pioneer, makes wine, cooks, church goer.
If you knew me you would not realize i’m falling apart and desperately sick and worried about my son. Heartbroken is a light word. It is more like it’s killing me.
Anyway, i’m hanging on with everything i got! I try not to think about it at work. I totally bar it from my conciseness(like a budda prayer) Ommmm Ommmmm
Then, when i get home i spend some evenings running up and down the basement steps to check to see if he is breathing or pick him up from the floor. Alot of
times he is incoherent and it’s like i’m taking care of an old person at a hospital. I have nar-con available in the cupboard, but have never used it. I’ve called the
ambulance a few times, and my BF have CPR’d him twice.
He does not want recover or help. So now, i probably need to just shut up. I don’t think telling him to leave and go do all the drugs he wants is helpful. It’s almost
if i yell at him or say anything it’s like “kicking a puppy” something that is just wrong.
I hate all this. I really am a nice person who deserves to be happy, but this is super dragging me down.
I’m praying for him.
Thanks for listening. Sometimes it’s good to just tell someone and get it out.
Traffic Mom
I am realizing that enabling makes the addict not go into recovery. I have an adult son who is an addict. I can’t bring myself to kick him out on the street. He doesn’t have a job, suffered from adhd and depression and has been through a lot in life. He doesn’t want help. I am done paying his bills and falling for all the manipulations and lies to get me to give him cash so he can go and buy crack. I feel like such a fool with all my denial and wishful thinking. I need to make his life very uncomfortable and not be responsible for enabling him. His older brother gave him a job for three days thinking that he could help him so he could buy his daughter something, well he didn’t he came home and went on a week of crack binge, then he lied about his car and got money from me. A good amount well he spent it on crack, then he pawned his phone that is in my name so I had to get it out. My husband found out and called the cops on him but they did not take him because as always he had a good excuse and since we are in a state with tough Covid restrictions they are not arresting for minor offenses. Although he yells, screams, calls us names and blames his childhood for his addiction. Cops have been at my house several times since we bought this house in December. Neighbors avoid us. I guess we are now known as the crazy house. All my fault, I felt pity for my son and allowed him to move with us because he was homeless. He was clean and sober for two months, then relapsed a couple of times but three weeks ago was when the crack binge started and it has been a living hell because when he doesn’t have it he goes into a rage. My husband is also an addict on prescription medication but he does not admit it. They both yell at each other and wish the worse on each other. Because I have my son here, my husband of 47 years has decided to leave. He is looking for a place now. I will not be able to keep the house on my pension alone and he knows it but is his way of punishing me for enabling our son for the past five years. This has taken a financial toll on me and an emotional toll on both of us. Our marriage is over and I can’t blame the addict in my life but me the enabler. I’ve done more damage to him then the drug itself. My good intentions are destroying him. I hope is not too late. Hard to admit that this is my disease as well, but it is, my older son won’t talk to me now because I let my addicted son back in the house last night because he had no place to go and he was crying outside saying he did not deserve to sleep on the street, etc. I have to give this to God
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