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Hi: My name is Michelle and my husband is an addict. When I first met him he would smoke pot occasionally (as far as I knew). He would try not to be that way around me and was never like that around his daughter. I was so naïve then. I believed everything he said about his ex. Now I respect her for getting away. Fast forward to last year. He got addicted to oxycontin and Percocet which he is allergic too. He swells up all over along with the
other side effects of nodding off , paranoia , accusing me of everything disgusting under the sun. It got to the point last August that he was mixing
pills (after he would cut them up). He was up all night and day and was hallucinating. He even did this while working. He got so mad once (not even sure why)and took a gun outside and fired. His friends were worried then. He could not get enough pills off the street to keep it going and checked into a detox center. Three days later he was out and on Suboxone. That made him mean and short also but the alternative is ??? He just had his 7th surgery in 3 years. He does stupid stuff and hurts himself then has to get surgery. I wonder how long after he recovers from this one will the next one be? He doesn't want to work. He lies to himself and the doctors. He recently started back up with the Percocet / oxycontin and all the effects , too. I am scared for him , myself and our son. Why does he think it is okay my son has a father like this? The illusion of the happy life is getting harder to keep and I am so sad all the time. I am so angry with him for not taking care of himself and putting us through this. I want to shout so many questions at him , yet there are no answers. I have no patience for him and he thinks he has no problem. I have read step one and I struggle with letting go. I do everything. I know I need to focus on my son and myself. I do focus on him 100% and have all the patience in the world for him. It is then that I have peace and when I am alone I am scared. I don't know what will happen next.
Thank you all for listening. Any advice would be appreciated.
Michelle
Hi,
You can't fight an active addict. All you can do is set boundaries and make them clear to your husband. if he doesn't hit rock bottom he won't stop. when talking to him it has to be about your and your child's well being. You have to detach yourself with love. You do this because you love him but will no longer enable him to continue to use drugs.
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