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First time post, long time spouse of an addict. Mines choice is alcohol. He is an amazing man, amazing father and loves me dearly but he goes through binges and drinks when he shouldn't and cannot go a long time without. I have been dealing with this for 15 years with him, and recently we had something serious happen. Everyone was okay but he was drinking and driving with others in the car. Since them some family members choose to stop associating with us. He said he was done. I got us into counseling, ordered some good books for us to read. We seemed to be on the right track. About 3 weeks ago I find his new hiding spot with empty bottles and newly cracked bottles. He had been lying again and not for sure how long he was sober.
Now I sit here and wonder if I should leave him, each time he claims he wants to be sober, and each time I set up counseling for us and get him through the first few weeks and than that fades and he is back to the bottle.
We have purchased our first home together, we have 3 kids all under the age of 7.
No he is not violent, he does not come home sloppy drunk. His main issue is he will drink while in charge of watching the kids, or drink early in the morning, he hides liquor and cannot go without. I am unhappy and do not want to be with him anymore. I want to leave but how, what do I do, where do I go, do I make my kids go and live somewhere else? They would be devastated. Its not all about me but then again I feel like I think about them so much I loose myself in the process.
For the first time in 15 years, I don't feel the love for him that I normally do. I am fed up. I have always been approached by other men but now I am not annoyed when men approach me. I seeing myself as a single in the future and not thinking of me and him anymore. I am torn on what to do.
I have asked him to leave and go somewhere so I can figure out my life without looking at him everyday but he has not gone anywhere.
I am going through the same issues with my husband. He is a heroin addict. We have been married 8 years. This situation is so, so hard. I feel like I'm losing my mind. All I want is for him to stop. We have really good health insurance so he has access to the best medicines for opiate additions. He's been to rehab. He has the medication but, I found out yesterday, that he is selling it on the street. I'm trying desperately to shield this from my son. He is in the 12th grade and I do not want this to distract him so, I allowed him to go stay with his dad. He lies and lies and lies. He gets angry and dismissive of me when I try to talk to him and before I know it, I'm yelling at the top of my lungs and behaving like a mad woman. I have cleaned up every mess he's gotten himself in. His nodding is so embarrassing. He's totaled 4 cars in the last year. I'm so afraid he's going to hurt some innocent person when he's driving while hi. But, No matter what happens, he won't stop using. At this point, I don't think he wants to. It's a choice and he can stop if he wanted to. Or, at least try. I don't love him like I used to. I find that now, I only pity him. He is a good man and he can do better and be better but, the drug won't allow that. I'm having a hard time just walking away. I want the man that I met back. But, I fear that he's never coming back and if he does, it will be to late to save the relationship. I'm so angry with him for doing this. But, I need to take care of me. I just can't do him anymore.
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