Hello. Iâm new here. I finally decided I need to connect with others who know what Iâm going though. Iâve known my boyfriend for the past 11 years. 7 of which he has been an active user. We were friends for a long time and only started dating a year and a half ago when he was clean. He has had significant amounts of clean time and recently had a year of clean time before he relapsed. He got clean again and was on the vivotrol (sp?) shot but his insurance lapsed and he wasnât able to get it as he should have 3 weeks ago. He recently relapsed and I found out by finding him unconscious on the front porch from an overdose. Itâs the first time Iâve found him like that. In all the time Iâve known him that was the first time. He had been clean again for a month and his body couldnât handle it. Now Iâm constantly paranoid. Iâm always worried about who heâs talking to. Where heâs going and what heâs doing. I havenât talked to my parents because I know they wonât be supportive. We have a lease together so now I fear that every time I come home I will find him dead. I feel stupid saying all of this because it seems obvious that I should leave him. It just breaks my heart. I am and have always been clean. I manage the money and no longer give him cash for anything. We are working to get him back on insurance and back on the shot. My anxiety is eating away at me and going back to work and not knowing what he will be doing is already making me incredibly anxious. I love him but I donât know how to help him anymore without hurting myself.
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