Hi Everyone! I'm excited to have found this forum! I am a mother of a 22 year old recovering addict son (7 months clean). Seven months ago I would've never imagined life as it is now. Since my son's discharge from rehab, he has not ceased to amaze me in his recovery. He's completed Intensive Outpatient, attends NA meetings and has held a full-time job. He also disconnected himself from past "friends", removed a toxic gf from his life and reunited himself with his family. His entire personality, moods and behavior has changed. I am grateful for the opportunity to build this new relationship with my son.
In the years of his active addiction, our home was filled with tension and anxiety. The smallest things would send him off into rages of anger and he'd punch holes in my walls. He would lie and steal. He was also in several car accidents while under the influence. Whenever he called me, it usually wasn't good. Although things are completely different "just for today", I realize that I still suffer from the familiar worries of relapse, the "what if's" and also a sort of PTSD from his past actions and behaviors. My anxiety is triggered by certain situations….things that may have sent him into a rage in the past. I am even triggered when I see he is calling me. I find myself trying to control what my son does or doesn't do in a nonchalant, "behind the scenes" way and I realize this is unhealthy. This is why I am here. I need the support and I am hoping to give support as well. Thanks for letting me share.
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