Hello everyone!
My name is Robyn and my boyfriend is an addict. I've known him for 15+ years and knew he was a recovering addict when we got together. When we got together he had been clean for 2 years and was doing amazing. We separated for a few months last summer basically so I could get myself figured out…we got together right after me and my youngest kids dad split up after 5 years, I needed time to make sure all strings were severed.
He swore he understood and said he'd wait. Well, a month in to waiting he relapsed and pretty much blamed me since we were apart. A one time "accident" turned into an active addiction. I became very worried about him and felt I needed to fix things. In December we officially got back together and he said he was done using…that wasn't the case at all. It's pretty much been a back and forth battle since.
Things started feeling off to me, something wasn't right. He works Friday-Sunday 6am-630pm. Him and a friend from work started hanging out more and more….always hiding in our shed. Needless to say he failed a drug test for probation and got a weekend in jail, I thought maybe he would realize he needed to stop but that wasn't the case either. A few weeks later he was called in for a random and "couldn't produce a sample" so he got another 10 weekends in jail. The first weekend he was in jail something told me to go check the shed…..after searching I found a meth bong and 2 meth pipes. I was devastated. I called his probation officer crying and he told me to get rid of it and see if the jail time changed his behaviors, so I did. He called me from jail telling me how sorry he was and that he had a lot to tell me when he got out and so on.
I was suspicious him and his friend were in this together so I kind of boogie trapped my shed BEFORE I removed everything I found just to see if the friend came while my boyfriend was in jail and sure enough! I called the girlfriend to let her in on what was going on. When my bf got out he admitted to using but kept saying his friend had nothing to do with it. The friend came clean to his gf saying they were using together but my bf still was reluctant to throw him under the bus. Finally he admitted it. Now he's attending IOP on days he's not in jail or working and his probation has been extended for a year.
Sometimes I still find myself questioning his behaviors. I get nervous when him and his friend hangout together. I find myself searching to see if I find anything suspicious. We fight a lot because he claims he's really trying to stay clean yet I feel like some of the things he used to do he's starting to do again so I wonder if it means he's using.
Sometimes I literally feel like I'm going insane. Not to mention he spent a good part of his using days trying to convince me that I was crazy! I will be attending as many meetings on here as possible. I know I need to get better for myself and my 5 children and I just hope and pray he gets right with himself too, otherwise I have to figure out how to let go.
Thanks for letting me vent!
Hello Newbie, I am also new at this.
My name is Sarah M., and I am both a recovering addict and a person with co-dependency issues. I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. I used to have a boyfriend who had been in and out of prison. He was mad at me for leaving Washington, D.C. after going through rehab for a second time. My relatives offered to provide a safe place to stay so I could work on my addiction issues in 1994.
Fast forward – I went to meetings in Ohio, and I met my future husband there. I thought he was working the program, and he probably did it for a little while. We got married in 1997, and he usually abstained from alcohol and other drugs. Now, I live in a home with my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law, and my husband, Bob. For a while, I was wondering whether Bob was an addict, so I asked my teacher about it. I found out I was a chief enabler for him about 1 1/2 months ago. I started taking care of people as a child, so I continued my role into adulthood. I look forward to learning more about Nar-Anon and getting support here.
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