Hello, This is my first experience joining an Anon group. I am 38 and have been with my husband for 19 years. He had a drinking problem and quit for 3 years then for 4 1/2 years after a relapse. I have been so proud of him and we had a great relationship except for the fact that he has always been unemployed or underemployed. Last year he got a job in another city and came to visit me and our 6 year old on weekends. He was doing really well at this job, until 10 months in, he was let go. I was never really clear on what the problem was. Many of our friends do coke recreationally and I knew he partook a little bit here and there, but always went to bed before midnight and seemed to just do it once in awhile. He wasn't drinking so, I put it out of my mind. In the past few months people started talking, they were telling me that he had a problem. They said it started when we were apart. I didn't believe them, because I know that they do it too so it was hard to understand what the difference was between them doing it and him doing it. As his new years resolution my husband decided to not do coke anymore. I was happy he decided this, but thought it was a health reason rather than addiction. He said he wanted to go to a NA meeting and I was really confused. Then things got serious. My best friend called me and said we have a serious issue, she told me that after the NA meeting he went and did coke one last time. She said he confided a few details to her. I was in shock, out of town and only able to call him, but he would give me minimal details. He told me it was never alone or during the day. Then last week I caught him doing coke on my lunch break after 3 weeks of sobriety. His brother had been visiting and had it with him accidentally, my husband found it and kept it, but told his brother he got rid of it. He is now 5 days sober and I am a mess. I was just beginning to feel better when I caught him. I still don't have enough information to know what he is dealing with. He says discussing it will hurt his recovery, he has given me small bits of information but I am lost and don't know how to rebuild or be with him without trying to talk about it with him. I am completely exhausted and have no idea if I even have the right to know what happened. I am grateful for any advice.
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