Hi there. I am not sure how I feel about letting my feelings be exposed. I guess I dont know what else to do. I feel lost, alone and secluded. I have been married for 18 years and the past 4 years my husband has gone down hill due to a meth addiction. Two years ago he threw me out of the house (for having a facebook account). I had nothing but my 2 teenage kids and a car I could no longer afford. I decided to find a place of my own to try and move forward. Since then we still and try to make the marriage work, but now he has lost his job of 14 years and lives with his sister in another city. He seems to have obtained an alter personality. I do not understand. He says he hears voices (in my front window). That they are my boyfriends talking to me through the window. Then he says I am stalking him or watching him through his cell phones, laptops and tablets. He thinks I can see his every move! I do not know how to feel about this, but to be concerned. The last time he was at my house he was waking me up every hour asking me why I was not sleeping?? Then he said the neighbors had a spotlight on my house because they were looking at me! When I woke up the next morning, I found a butcher knife under my bed, another larger knife on my kitchen table and he was sitting on my bed watching me because he said a red laser light was coming through the window pointing at me.
I guess I need to vent. I feel so confused. I do not know how to feel or what to think. I feel sorry for him and wish I could help him, but he thinks I am an evil person, a vindictive person and revengeful. I have stayed with him through these tough times and do not understand how he can think of me this way. No matter what I say or do, he still believes this.
Any comment or thought would be helpful. Even knowing that I am not alone in this. I have secluded myself from my friends because I do not want to explain myself or this situation. They would not understand.
Thank for reading
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