Hi. I'm new here. I'm struggling to navigate my way around on this online chat. I've never done anything like this before. I wanted to start going to actual meetings for Nar-anon and Al-anon but there are none in my area so I'm trying to do this instead. I really know nothing about how all this works, how the program works or whatever. I'm trying to educate myself on everything. If anyone can suggest anything for me as a newcomer I would greatly appreciate it because I have no clue where to even start. I downloaded The Big Book for AA this morning and will start reading that because it seems like a good start for now
Hey Krista, I'm Teresa, 2 books that were suggested to me were Nar-Anon Blue Booklet and SESH Sharing Experience Strength and Hope. Were you at the meeting last night? The next meeting is on Thursday at 9:00 pm. You can log on and a little early and click on the Main Chat room. I am kind of new to this too. I am still trying to figure out some of this stuff. Give it a try!
Thank you for the information. I wasn't at the meeting. I literally just got on here for the first time this morning. I clicked on the meeting tab to see what was on there and it asked me for my password but when I put it in it just kept loading that same page asking for my password. I really am struggling with navigating on here lol. I will try to get more familiar with it over the next couple days so hopefully I will be able to log into the meeting because I would really like to do that. Thank you for all your help
Hello. I'm Maureen and new to this too. I'm not really sure how to navigate around this site, but no meeting in my area so this is all I have. I'm suffering greatly. My beloved 27 y/o son has relapsed after 5 years of sobriety. He's been using for 2 years and has kept it hidden. A high functioning addict! Has a good job and relationships still. I can't keep him from his own money. I'm afraid he's going to die and that's it. Sorry to spill it all here. I need help. How do I get phone support from someone? Not sure where to turn, but feel like I'm going to have a heart attack any day…
My name is Nancy and i have been on this page all of 5 minutes but i have been living in the hell of my 20 year old son's addiction for almost 6 years now. 4 years of it feeling powerless, mad, sad, guilt, fear, anxiety (sometimes paralyzing), trying to function on a normal level, get up, go to work, be with friends…all the stuff people with "normal" lives do….my mind always on my son and in my head the worst possible scenarios. My mood and my day depended on him and how he was doing, how could i possibly have a good day, smile and be happy when his life was in such shambles and nothing i was doing was helping him??? Thankfully i have a very close friend who grew up with a mother who was an alcoholic and drug abuser who intervened one day when we were on vacation and she had enough of my life and the way i was behaving. I will tell you her and i argued because i did not like what she was saying and if a stranger had said the things to me she did it would not have ended well lolol….i can lolol about it now because that moment is what started my breakthrough and helped me change my thought process on EVERYTHING!!! I started reading the literature and had to open my mind up to the fact that not only did my son have an addiction i could not fix, but i had to do work on myself to help both him and me!! Has still been a roller coaster but an easier one to ride….top books i recommend and even read some this morning "SESH (Sharing, Experience, Strength, Hope)" and "Sharing Recovery-The Serenity Connection Collection" both have short daily reads from people going through a loved one's addiction and the steps they have taken and hopefully still do for even one day of sanity!! I do recommend reading NAR-ANON literature, the principles and 12 step program for families of addicts, meetings if one close to you, i have even listened to speakers for Nar-Anon on You Tube!! Did not know they have national conventions!! You are not alone!! Isolating yourself is so easy to do when loving an addict, after the first 2-3 years i didn't want to talk about it or him anymore because he was failing life and so was I. Have had some events happen here with my son–none of them "unexpected" but i had gotten complacent with myself and my own "recovery" my own thoughts and feelings when my son was in jail for 3 months recently–newbies to the program may think i am crazy but i was happy, carefree and didn't worry about much during that time!! Jail time for an addict can be a "mental vacation" for those of us who love them!! Anyway, he got out a month ago, is working but is also using again, trying to lie to me but i was like "enough of the lies, these are my rules, my boundaries with your behavior and your lifestyle" everything both him and i know and could probably recite to each other verbatim, everything that had worked before for me, i wasn't prepared for the overwhelming feeling of anxiety, worry and sadness that came with it all though, i had stopped working my steps and let my guard down…my fault, still cannot fix him and was losing my own ground!! There was not a meeting until tonite so i found this forum and started reading the introductions and responded to this one after reading about 6 posts asking where to start and how to help the addict they love….start by taking a deep breath and be prepared to go somewhere you may have never thought you would go with "helping"your addict!!! Google the Nar-Anon literature, READ IT MORE THAN ONCE!! Let it sink in with an open mind, get the books i mentioned above (i have them on my phone with kindle, they go EVERYWHERE with me) look up "detaching with love" a concept that is hard to comprehend but you will see it makes sense once you start applying it to yourself and your thought process….begin by freeing yourself from the responsibility of fixing the addict and their behaviors, something most of us are not conditioned to do because WE love them and WE worry about them and know how good THEIR life can be!!! I know this is lengthy but it is just the beginning and if you work it and let it work for you IT IS WORTH IT!! You will see and feel a change in yourself and the way you feel about your addict, even posting this has made me feel better and taken some of my anxiety away because i know i am getting back on track…even did a step in my own recovery today i did not realize until now….service!! My first time!!Service to others to help them, myself and the ones we love!! Feel free to respond back or comment, good or bad, I got this, even if just for today, i got this and with the right tools you do to!!
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