My name is Jennifer. I am new to Nar-anon. I haven't been to a F2f yet but I plan on going next week. (There are only 2 meetings within 50 miles of me). My boyfriend is an addict and an alcoholic. He just returned home from rehab a couple days ago and he told me about Nar-anon so I thought I would try it out. While I am happy he is home I am also overwhelmed with emotions about it. I have been alone for years now in his addiction, feeling suffocated by it like my life is slowly ending as I watched him fall further and further into darkness. I exhausted so much of my life covering up and lying to my own friends and family pushing them all away because I was ashamed. Two months ago out of the blue he said he needed to go to rehab. He had always said before that he wouldn't go. So while he was gone I tried to heal myself not knowing when he would be home or "who" would be coming home. I just knew I needed to change myself so I could be stronger. So I could somehow get my own life back because I was drowning. And so now I am here searching for myself and hoping that I can learn from others who have gone through this, people who might "get me" and how I feel. Because the world out there, they have no idea.
I encourage you to get to a meeting. If you can't get to Nar-Anon, try Al-Anon. Start learning about the steps and reach out to someone at the meetings about getting a sponsor. I am new but not new if that makes sense. I am starting over and one thing I didn't do before was get a sponsor so I fell away. Just a suggestion. Good Luck and Peace to you on your journey to Serenity.
Amanda
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