Nar-Anon Chat™

Hello, I am new to this forum and I am the husband of an addict. I met my wife ten years ago and we've been married for seven. When I met my wife she was about six months sober from addiction to just about everything except meth and including prescription medications. She remained sober for many years but after a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis, she went back on pain meds. She did fairly well on those but struggled here and there with taking too many. Then in January of '17 her mother passed from cancer after my wife cared for her in home hospice. At the same time we lost custody of my two kids from my previous marriage. We had raised the kids together for almost eight years. So with the loss of the two kids and her mother, my wife relapsed into heroin, cocaine and crack use along with using my prescription oxy and methadone. During this time she used a lot of our money. I also lost my job and we got kicked out of our apartment because we couldn't afford it. This continued until June of this year when I finally filed a three party petition with the county and had her committed for detox. She detoxed for almost two weeks and then had a 90 day commitment in IOP. I also got her in a Suboxone clinic.
Shes done well with everything until a few weeks ago when her 90 day commitment ended. She stopped going to the suboxone clinic and she wants to go back on pain meds. Then this past Friday night she said she was going to a 10pm to 12am na meeting. She never came home that night. She came home around 1:30am Sunday morning and was very emotional. She hasn't admitted anything but by how she smelled and her physical and mental condition, I think she relapsed. She says I haven't done anything to change myself after she got sober. I am going to weekly talk therapy and I have done some meetings but I haven't done any meetings or anything. I have training through NAMI for Crisis intervention and I have 12 years experience in dealing with addicts and mental health issues, so I'm not going into this blind. Although I'm still not working I have a fairly busy schedule. We still have three kids in our home and I'm fighting a custody battle trying to get my other two kids back. My wife and I both have medical issues that we have weekly appointments for.
That's my story. Any advice or recommendations are appreciated.