Nar-Anon Chat™

HI my name is Katt. After 5 long years of denial, I have finally come to the conclusion that the love of my life, the man of my dreams is an addict. It has been a very long, rough week being yanked out of denial and into reality. The last week has been devastating as I have realized the full extent and impact of his behavior. The anxiety, the sadness, the constant crying, ugh! I am so over that. I came to acceptance today and gave up the control, or the need to control. Whew! That was hard.

I will not try and make excuses for him, but I might be. He is not an addict in the sense that he will go into withdrawals, he is not addicted to any one substance. He is more an abuser of pills, pot, alcohol, but he cant seem to do without for very long. I guess what I am saying is he is not physically addicted, but an addict all the same. Classic addict, lying, hiding, committing felonies to get the pills. Mind you, he has never been arrested or anything, but….

I am so happy to find this board and meetings, oh I need meetings, because arent I just the classic….what do I call myself? Sort of enabler? I dont and wont tolerate the behavior, but I sure didnt mind hiding my head in the sand. There are no meetings in my area, so I love the online option.

Some background on me, I was raised by an alcoholic, so I do have some knowledge, I have been too AA/NA myself, I have been to al anon and done the work with my dad after each of his arrests for DUI's and such. Though it was many years ago. I didnt expect to find myself in this position.

Have a great day!