Hi All,
I was wondering what advice you would give a new member. I am the wife of an addict and we are going through some very rough times. I have never been in this position before and I honestly wasn't sure where to turn for support. I would appreciate any advice or if there was anyone that has gone through something similar. Especially with a spouse.
Thanks so much.
Hello my name is Claire, I'm in a very complicated relationship with a meth and synthetic cannabis addict who is 23 years older than me. I have just joined here because I need to talk about things with anyone who can understand what I'm going through. He hid his addiction very well from the beginning then we started using together and everything was great but there were so many red flags and honestly I was head over heels for him and ignored so many things because I loved him so much looking back I feel like such a fool! After a while I saw his need for the drugs and how he'd lie and deceive others to get whatever he wanted out of them not caring at all afterwards. I could stop using whenever I wanted to it didn't matter to me but I saw he needed drugs to function otherwise he was depressed and suicidal, I saw the damage that long term heavy meth use caused. Eventually he lied to and deceived me over and over. I've watched him lose everything and his life hit rock bottom but still he refuses to change. He lies to me all the time, he says he'll give up that he can do it and that he'll get professional help but never does, when I catch him out using or high he lies or just runs away sometimes for weeks then he'll return acting like nothing has happened or just telling more lies about this and that, see thing is I'm pregnant with our first child and it's been so tough. I've felt absolutely abandoned and alone at times then when I have started to accept my situation and let go of him he turns up again and it starts all over again. I guess I've felt like I needed him but I am realising that he's not worth it and how can he possibly love me if he just keeps hurting me, using me and crapping on me. To me this isn't love it's only love when he wants or needs something and it's all fake he's such a good actor and liar and manipulator it really is incredible. I'm noticing the more he leaves and abandons and lie to me the more my feelings for him just die. I can't help him he has to help himself. I've put him first way to much and now I have to put myself and my unborn baby first. I love myself way to much to let him keep doing this to me. Also since I've quit using it's like we have nothing in common sometimes we can talk and that but other times he's just craving and nothing can stop him till he gets a fix and I find that really disturbing and ugly.
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