Hi Everyone. My name is Lindsay and I am married to an addict. My husband and I met 7 years ago – we got married a couple months after meeting – I never knew his past, which was that he had "tried" just about everything… a few times. We were young and I think we both associated his use of drugs and alcohol with his age.
Fast forward to 2 summers ago – my husbands drug use was starting to get unmanageable. At this point he was still able to hide it from me (except his drinking). He ended up getting in a bad motorcycle accident that landed him in the hospital for a month, followed by a stay at a nursing home until he was able to walk (a week or so). This is when things got bad. He was prescribed so many medications. He didn't work for the whole summer while he was recovering. He got depressed and was abusing his medication.
6 months ago, in December, he was getting so bad with the addiction, he finally decided to go to rehab. He only stayed for about 2 weeks. I was so hopeful but he has relapsed twice so far… big relapses anyways. He's been doing heroin but most of the time I don't notice… it's when he does Xanax and drinks that I can tell he is messed up. He has been going to meetings regularly which I am very happy with BUT he is drinking everyday. He got a prescription of Subs. As far as I 'know' he isn't doing any drugs – just taking his subs – but he is drinking everyday. It started off with a few beers and now sometimes he will take a shot or two of liquor.
We've been going to therapy – I love the lady we see. She is a marriage counselor and an addiction counselor so she is helping us on all levels. She is trying to prepare me for in case he has a relapse… which she thinks is almost certain since he is still drinking.
I am 30 years old and I am a stay at home mom. Or kids are 3 and 6. I am finishing up school this year and will be going back to work. Our original plan was for me to stay home until both of our kids were in school full time. I'm surprised I've been able to stay home for as long as I have… He has completely depleted out bank account. If it weren't for family helping us out, I'm not sure how we would have managed. I have opened my own account and started saving money for encase it happens again where he doesn't pay our bills because he is spending on other things.
Anyways, Sorry that was so long!!! If you kept up and read the whole thing, thank you. I am excited to be here. It's been hard for me to find an in-person group to attend so my counselor suggested an online group!
Hi Lindsey,
I totally understand what you are going through, I like you am a SAHM, I am in my early 30's and we have 3 small children together, we've also been together 8 years, but unlike you we are not married. I also have trouble attending a face to face meeting and was so happy to find this online chat room. It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one going through a similar situation.
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