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I am hoping to find support online as meetings are difficult to get to for me. I am the mother of an adult son who has lived with me the last three years, saying he wanted to get clean. He struggled of course, treatment centres twice and almost three times, but he decided he didnt need treatment. He was a long time user of crack cocaine but switched when his best friend died from that drug. My son used meth the last three years in small amounts. To him this was not really using drugs, but of course the drug didnt wear off for many days, and psychosis followed. It was so difficult to see this, and to hear him talk to others who where not there, and were not after him. He is now on the streets as I can not let him live with me and use. I long for someone to talk to. Are the meetings the place to go on the site here? I had hoped the message board was active too, but Ill take whatever support I can find. I see a lot of pain on here..we all need each other. Im catm and I live alone now after raising three kids. My other two are parents and have great lives. I love my son but it is so troublesome to have my firstborn living on the streets. I died inside when I dropped him off pulling his large suitcase. He is not a street person. He has had great success with his trade, but now this is where he is…homeless. : (
Hi,
I am new as well. My adult daughter just went to treatment for the first time 3 days ago.
Since then my husband and I have uncovered so many things she was doing including selling her meds, arranging drug deals for friends, lying about us and blaming us for injuries she received while high or drunk with friends. We have not laid a finger on her. She has two DUIs and is facing jail time after she gets out of treatment. It's extremely hard to comprehend when we have allowed her to stay with us in the hopes she would get herself turned around after flunking out of college. We are not sure we should even let her return to our home. We don't even know what to do while she is in treatment as the counselor will not return our calls.
Hello, Irene.
Just letting you know I read your post. I am new so can't give much advice other than keep coming back. The chat here is supportive and you can find meeting times there. Also, if you don't already have it, get some literature for Nar-Anon or Al-Anon. I have found the 12 steps and stories of others enlightening. You will see your story reflected in those of others and be able to share in the experience, strength and hope. It is a daily journey. Good Luck to you.
Amanda
[quote][b]Quote from Irene914 on December 15, 2016, 10:30[/b]
Hi,
I am new as well. My adult daughter just went to treatment for the first time 3 days ago.
Since then my husband and I have uncovered so many things she was doing including selling her meds, arranging drug deals for friends, lying about us and blaming us for injuries she received while high or drunk with friends. We have not laid a finger on her. She has two DUIs and is facing jail time after she gets out of treatment. It's extremely hard to comprehend when we have allowed her to stay with us in the hopes she would get herself turned around after flunking out of college. We are not sure we should even let her return to our home. We don't even know what to do while she is in treatment as the counselor will not return our calls. [/quote]
Go get another counseler to talk to as that is not right and this is a huge decision to make. I told my son he would not be coming back to my place after treatment but he chose the streets anyway.
take care. 🙂
cathy
Hello I am new as well, I have grown up with addiction all around me my father is and was an alcoholic and used crack cocaine and occasionally other drugs. I saw my boyfriend overdose on July 12 and my mother overdose on September 22 both have been doing great with their recovery until a few days ago when my boyfriend started useing heroine again. It's the samething I'm sorry I'm done I was stupid. Usually I am weak I get upset yell cry and beg but this time I didn't fall into the cycle of having a pity party for him I stepped back and out of the relationship. I feel so afraid that he's going to die and I just sat and did nothing. I feel so alone and I question if I'm doing the right thing for my son and I?
Hi, my name is Mame. I am new to these boards but not to the 12 step program. My mom has been in recovery for 42yrs.
My oldest is an addict. We have been battling his drugs since he was 14, he's 32 now. I thought it was casual use, mostly pot but boy was I in denial. This year he got back into pills after several years not using them. By the time he hit bottom he was looking at heroine, stole from everyone he knew and some he didn't. He was suicidal. He just completed his first Rehab this month. He is doing well right now. He started a new job today.
I totally understand that fear of your addict dying. I tried controlling it all and I now understand, I controlled nothing. He just got better at lying and manipulating. A few weeks ago I went to a meeting and they read "Open Letter from your Addict". It helped so much! This is me and now I get it a little better. I am sharing it in hopes all of us "Newbies" find it helpful:
AN OPEN LETTER TO MY FAMILY
I am a drug addict. I need help — from a doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from an addict who found recovery in Narcotics Anonymous, and from God.
Don't solve my problems for me. This only makes me lose respect for you.
Don't lecture, moralize, scold, blame, or argue — whether I'm loaded or not. It may make you feel better, but it will make the situation worse.
Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents me from keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are my only way of postponing pain. Don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made — stick to it.
Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.
Don't allow your anxiety for me — make you do what I should do for myself.
Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse.
Above all, don't run away from reality as I do. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as the using continues. Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for recovery. Find Nar-Anon, whose groups exist to help the families of drug-abusers.
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
For today, i am staying in my truth and letting him do him. Thank you all for being here.
Hey all,
I am encouraged by all these shares. It is so good to talk about what we often cannot with our world at large. Here is support and understanding from people who know the struggles we face. Serenity and hope to you all and I hope to see you in a chat soon. I won't be able to attend tomorrow evening, but I will try for Saturday's chat.
Amanda
my Son and his wife are both addicts. They are both adults in their 30s. Both have been in and out of jail and enable eachother. They got addicted to pain pills n their early 20s and we helped them get through it. They were good for many years. The last couple years have been the worst nightmare. I am heartbroken. They are now both addicted to meth and heroin.. i have tried many attempts to get them into rehab.My husband is laid off so now financially we cannot afford to help them.They have both lost their jobs,home, car. We allowed them to live with us since June and they have lied and no attempt to get clean. We havent heard or seen them in over a week. Just dont know how to handle this anymore.Need to chat with people who understand
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