Hello!
First I want to say I'm so happy to have found this! I went on the chat room last night and it was so helpful. I can't wait to attend an online meeting! Here's what brought me here…
First, my sister is a recovering addict – she has been an addict for about 8 years…has been in and out of rehabs and has been arrested twice for drug related issues. She overdosed (heroin) last February with her infant in her care. Luckily she lives with me parents and my mom heard a strange noise and went in to check on her and they were able to call 911 and save her life. She has been clean since that day.
Second, I have been dating a guy who has struggled with drugs for 15 years. When we first met I did not know this information and he was "clean". I say clean with quotes because come to find out he had been on suboxone for 6 years. In addition, he would take xanax, klonopin and smoke pot occasionally. None of these things occurred to my knowledge for the first couple months we were together. We fell in love very quickly and started to build a life together. Well, drugs brought this life crashing down. Long story short he went crazy due to drugs, yelled and screamed a lot, put me down, smashed bottles in the driveway, threatened to kill himself with a needle in the neck, and stayed awake for 4 days straight on cocaine and crack.
He in now in a treatment center. He was in detox for 10 days coming of subuxone. Now he is in 30 days of residential treatment. They were giving him clonidine to help with withdrawal symptoms until yesterday and he went crazy…calling me yelling and screaming, saying he was going to pull some "dope fiend moves" to get what he needed to feel better. He has no tolerance of any sensations in his body…I'm starting to think that he doesn't REALLY WANT to change and get better. So…here I am…
Hey Sarah, I am so sorry you are going through this. My husband is in residential treatment now as well. He has been using often for over 4 years, but heavily for at least the last year. He was using Vicodin and oxy, but what really got him was Adderall. I guess his dealer didn't have the pain pills and offered those instead. It was downhill from there. He would be tweeked out, and doing the same crazy things you are mentioning. He also was paranoid, and thought people were hacking his iPhone, trying to break in and it goes on and on. He was in detox for 5 days, then has been in the men's house since the 29th of Feb. He is being discharged on the 29th, and I have severe anxiety. I know I need to let go and let God, but I feel like if I do this things are going to end for good. It's sad to me because he has been my best friend since we were about 16 yrs old. I am now 38, and he is 39. It's tough, and I feel so glad to have found this page to talk to other people in the same position I am in now.
Hi Amanda, I'm new myself and I think you'll get faster response by going in the chat room. I relate to how you feel as my addict goes in and out of programs and I never know whether he's truly sober or not even when he is. I went to a meeting last night and a speaker said we can only deal with it one day at a time and we can only work on changing ourselves but we cannot change others. So good for you to seek support for yourself here. Try chat room, it has open chat and timed meetings. I am glad I went to a meeting in my town and will go back again.
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