I am really hoping this helps me out. I have a wonderful support system but they have no understanding of what dealing with an addict is like. I grew up with both parents being addicts. Our childhood was so dysfunctional. I ran away when I was 13 and made it cross country. Problem is I left my 6 year old brother behind. I had raised him until that point and when I left I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. I feel a great deal of guilt due to leaving him behind. My father is now clean and sober. He is dealing with the sever medical problems that he accrued due to his usage. My mother is still using despite her failing health. My younger brother is 27. When he was 9 my mother sold custody of him to an aunt for a 12 pack. My aunt never really gave him the affection he needed. Now he is using as well. He is a brittle diabetic and in and out of the hospital. He calls me often and asks for money for his insulin and other medications. Out of fear I usually give it to him. I know it may be going to other things but I still feel the need to take care of him. I'm here because I need to find good ways to cope both with the drug use in my past with my parents and the current problems with my brother. If you read this far thanks.
Glad you are here. My husband is my addict and I lost a son to drugs 6 years ago….so I know, and understand, fear! Its a horrible reality when others use and ask us for money, My son used to ask for money for "food, rent, anything he could imagine"…but when I gave it to him, I found he was still hungry, rent was still due and yet he was high. I would encourage you to find a NarAnon meeting in your area and although I am new to this site, I plan on attending the online meetings to see if that helps. Sharing experience, hope and strength is the only way we can help each other. Otherwise we will die along with the addict….I have to continually remind myself I didn't cause it, I can't change it and I can't cure it. My husband left rehab high on LIFE but it didn't take him 2 weeks to come home and use again. Next came the lies….then more lies…then anger at ME for confronting him. Please learn to forgive yourself because YOU didn't cause any of this to happen. You are a victim as well so please focus on yourself. You are the only one you have control over. Keep coming back.
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