My addict is my 5 yr old sons father…I dated his father for 10 yrs and he started using that I know of 7 yrs ago on and off..a yr and half ago(my son had just turned 4) he was talking to his dad threw the bathroom door as I was folding laundry…I heard him tell my son to go downstairs to me he wa trying "to go potty" my son came downstairs n I got him in his pj's an told him to go tell daddy I needed his help carrying the wash basket upstairs…the few mins from when they were talkin till he got back up there my son says "mommy daddy is sleeping" I said where…he says"on the bathroom floor".my heart sank n I flew up the steps I found him crouched between my toilet and sink bleeding from hitting his head on the sink cabinet…my son was standin next to a full bag of heroin on the sink…I lifted his dad up and laid him on the ground and saw the needle was still in his arm..he was blue..I took the meddle out of him and found the cap n capped it…I grabbed the spoon and empty baggy a from in the toilet and te full baggy from the sink and put it all in my back pocket so my toddler wasn't exposed to them…then I noticed not only was he blue but had peed his pants(being in the medical field I knew every second counted) I checked for a pulse in diff sites and could not find one n he was not breathing…I told my son to go downstairs n get my cell phone bc he was screaming and crying daddy don't die…I started CPR….after about five mins he took a breath but was not conscious and the breathing was very faint…my son was still not getting my phone bc he was confused and terrified and knew when we played doctor n mommy would say he needs CPR that that ment he wasn't breathing and could be dead…so hence he saw me do CPR he really got upset…I then too his dad n put him in the bath tub where I turned the shower on cold and aimed it right for his upper body and face area…I grabbed my son and went downstairs n my neighbor was at my door bc she heard my screams..she took my son to her house n I called 911 while I was on the phone he woke up and started screaming at me for callig the cops bc he was on probation for other drug charges…the cops met us at the er…I gave them all the stuff I found n told them everything n gave them his phone w all numbers and texts that were drug related…when I finally got to go see him he said he did it to celebrate my board certification I had gotten that day…I was angry and hit him N got escorted out of the hospital…I wen home got my son who was sleeping and tucked him into my bed and packed all his fathers stuff into garbage bags and threw them outside…he ended up going into a rehab but checked out two weeks into it 13 days…he then moved two hours away w his mother n got every other weekend supervised by his mom with my son…I was livid n terrified for my sons safety n also torn that I had lost the love of my life that night.( we were bet friends since I was 12 n I didn't even know the person that stood in front of me anymore) his mom gve him a car money food free place to live bought him cigarets tattoos whatever he wanted n would not supervise any visit n would watch my son while he went out n did as he pleased…I then bought my son a cell phone that only called me n after many calls of him calling me crying that daddy wouldn wake up or he's wake up n daddy wasn't an where to be foun I took my chances of breaking my custody order and being held in contempt n no longer allowed the visits…he was so gone he didn't fight it…barely even called my son…my son seen his dad ice since march of 2014 to this day…now his dad is in jail for owing over 6grand in support n his mother finally sees how bad his addiction is and realizes I wasn't lieing and the hell I was put threw being beaten and lied to n stolen from for yrs…two weeks ago I met w him for the first time for him to get his belongings for work release he had no one to turn to so called me n I did it to talk face to face for the first time since his overdose…and he said to me he has no problem he doesn't get sick…he does it bc he likes it…I coulda puked I was so sick to my stomach…this man I loved and purposely made a child with (when he was in recovery awhile n turned back into the man I knew n loved) had trend into a monster and cared about nothing more then this demon drug…I refuse to let my son alone with him and now that his mom is on board w tough love and not enabling n sees how bad his addiction is she won't allow my son near him either so I'm no longer breaking my order….it kills me to be so cold towards him n not Help when he has no one but I see this was his choice n now his disease n demons only he can stop I can not help n he'll just continue to bring me down and put my son in danger by being around that life style….I just recently found these online nar anon groups and am so glad I found ten it feels good to tell my story and hear others have been there and how they got threw them…it's a true struggle a day at a time
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