Hello, my name is Tina and I'm happy to be here.
My story actually began over 13 years ago when I was dating a crack addict. I was raised a pretty sheltered child and had no idea what drugs were until I was in this relationship.
It was a winter night in December of 1988. I was a fashion model and he was a musician. We were both performing at a children's charity event. Backstage, we crossed paths and it was love at first sight, at least it was for him. I had not too long ago gotten out of an abusive marriage, so dating was not on my radar or even a thought for that matter.
So, it went, this world wind romance and then the truth of who he was began to rear it's ugly head. By then, it was already too late, I was in love with "Mr. Hyde."
Yes, so many things about his addiction became clearer and clearer to me. But in my mind, he was not hurting me, he was only hurting himself. We eventually had two children and I finally left the relationship after nearly 7 years of dealing with his addiction.
Oh the stories I can share will not amaze most of you because I've been reading your stories and I swear, just like someone else said here, it's just like I wrote them myself. It's amazing how we go through life thinking we are all alone until we find safe spaces like this.
Now, fast forward to why I'm here. So, my addict actually died in his addiction in 2006. Today, our son is battling alcoholism. This is why I was so desperate to find a space that I don't have to walk it alone.
The past few years have been hell watching my son leading his way down a pathway of his own destruction. Oh, but I'm his Mom and I feel like I can do something about it. I think to myself, if he would just listen, I remind him, I lived through life with his addicted father. God, why can't I save my son. God, why can't I save my son. Then my mind snapped and then I realized, I'm hurting myself again, thinking I can save an addict who doesn't want to be save.
I thank you for creating this space for us to be able to share our situations.
We are not alone. We are not alone.
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