I've been with my husband since 1999, married in 2008. We were HS sweethearts. Never in a million years did I see this addiction coming. In 2009 he was put on Oxycodone for gout (which they actually misdiagnosed as a sprained ankle). And thus began our journey of addiction and the downward spiral of our marriage. He began buying pills off a family member and hiding/lying/stealing from me. I knew he had legit pain and offered to help him see a pain management dr so that he could stop wasting $ on the street and at least get them legally and covered by insurance. Little did I realize how that would enable everything. The pain mgt dr (who i refer to as a legal drug dealer) found he had 3 herniated discs and therefor legitimate reason to keep prescribing painkillers. Unfortunately my husband was finishing his prescriptions 1-2 weeks earlier then he should have. The dr would up his dose, up his pill amount, tell me to hold the bottle and keep track of my husbands pills. When my husband talked to him about wanting to come off because it was causing too many issues at home the dr said "well maybe we should up your dose, maybe that will be your magic number"
In February he took the step to come off oxycodone and was placed on suboxone for "pain maintenance". It's not what I was hoping for but I would rather deal with suboxone than pills any day. In July we received a letter from insurance that they would no longer cover suboxone without drug counseling and even then he would only be allowed 6 months worth of coverage. So we are 1 month into this and he's of course in panic mode. He's seeing a counselor and receiving his suboxone but there has yet to be any talk of weaning or the process of how they will wean. He sees the counselor alone but he's a very shy and inward person. I wish i could be at one of his appt to ask the important questions like how they will wean and what the next steps are but i know this is something he has to do on his own. I'm also afraid that once he is off suboxone he will fall back into the trap of pills knowing that there are still people he has connections too that don't know or care what he is going through and still reach out asking if he or anyone he knows needs them.
I live in constant fear. I became a person I never wanted to be…tracking his every move, reading his text messages, checking his phone bill/calls.. etc. I hate it.
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