How do I let go? How do I let go of my son? I keep hanging on trying to help, but I'm only enabling because of my love for my two grandchildren who I have helped raise (ages 2&3). I have lost who I am. I feel so alone, and I am so ridden with anxiety that it is almost paralyzing. I desperately need some advice from others who have walked the same road.
You are definitely not alone. I have walked the same road as you with my son. Although, he doesn't have children, I have have enabled my son as well, which only helped him fall deeper into his addiction. I too lost myself due to his addiction and became severely depressed and suffered from anxiety attacks, not to mention, having to be prescribed medication and see a therapist in order to function. Don't ever think you're alone; there are so many of us out there.
Hello ! I can't figure out how to start a new post, so I'm just replying to yours, but my cry out in the dark is the same as yours. My son has been in and out of county jail, prisons, rehabs, detox, etc etc. I pay for his phone and just started trolling his calls/texts and see that he is using and/or dealing again. I am starting to fall into the abyss once more. My husband's anxiety and mine also puts such strain on our relationship, we have different ways of handling things. But now we have to confront our son again – he was clean for 26 months, and now lying and stealing and selling at pawn shops again. I swore I would be smarter this time. I was/am…. but it doesn't really help. As Permalink says, there are so many of us here…… I love you all, though we have not met. The pain we share binds us….
Its helpful to know that I am not alone. My son has been opiate free for just about a year but has recently been using crack cocaine. The lying and manipulation has started again. Different drug, same pattern. I want to help him get out of some debt that he has accrued due to his use, as he promises that he can put this behind him, but I just don't trust him. His behavior also puts a strain on my spouse, who is not his father but has raised him since the age of 6 (he is now 27). I am so close to just writing him out of my life but if he leaves so do my grandchildren. This is a thought that I just cannot bear.
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