My husband and I have been together since I was 15 (32 now) we have 2 little girls that are 7 and 10. My husband worked all through high school and then became a police officer (his dad and grand dad were police officers) he lasted about 6 years as a cop and then quit bc the county screwed him over. He switched to oil and gas. While he was a cop he hurt his back but never did anything about it. When he started in oil and gas it really started bothering him so he went to the dr and the prescribed him 120 vic monthly. This is a guy who only drank beer never did any other drugs. That was in 2013..later in 2013 our youngest was diagnosed with cancer and rare auto immune disease. She is in remission and doing great but we had a couple tuff years. He has been on vic every since. He lost his job and been jumping from job to job. In 2015 he was up to 50 vic a day and got sepsis and ended up in ICU for 14 days. He then had 3 seizures in 2016 from taking too much Xanax or ambien, He goes from Vic to Xanax when he is withdrawing. He stays in bed 24/7. I work everyday and every pay check I get goes to his pills. He pawns everything for pills. My mom pays all our bills bc she doesn't want my girls to go without. I am scared to leave him partly bc I have never been without him and partly I don't know what would happen to him but I feel like if I stay with him he is going to die. I also feel like a failure of a mother bc I can't give my girls everything I want bc most of my money goes to him. My times goes to him too bc he is very needy…he is either sick or wants me to spend time with him. My stress level is so high I am like a zombie bc what should I do, how am I going to pay for this or that is ALWAYS running through my mind!
We have done rehab and he checks out after he detoxes and done suboxine and he trades them for vic.
Hi Lindsay, welcome to our group.
Sorry to hear all that you are going through, I have a similar story with my husband who I have been with 17 years and we have 3 children. He also got hurt on the job, addicted to pain pills and such. There is not much we can do when our husbands do not want to stop using, we can't make them. But we can take better care of ourselves and our children. I think I felt in the long run that while my husband was using that my mental and emotional health took a tank and my kids suffered as well. I got to a point that enough was enough and I stopped the enabling and codependency and worked on myself. It was one of the best things I ever did.
I would encourage you to get to some meetings, we have 3 here a week and they have helped me immensely. We also have our chatroom that is open 24/7 – you can come there at any time and find support. There is not always someone there in the day but there is in the evening.
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