Hi I'm Lila. I'm a little surprised to find myself here. My ex Bf. (together 6 years) is an alcoholic and former meth addict. For the time we were together I had only known him to drink and even that he tried to stay away from hard alcohol (asshole juice as we call it) and stuck to beer. Not that it made much difference overall because he was still emotionally and verbally abusive, just not as bad as when he drank the hard stuff. That and pot. I had less issue with him smoking pot than drinking (his doctor actually agreed). This is what I THOUGHT I had been dealing with when things got really bad.
I, on the other hand, do not drink except on a very rare occasion (maybe once a year if that)and I don't smoke pot or do any other drug either. Basically, I'm clueless.
When things got really bad I had to ask him to leave. It was not exactly that civil of course, but for a while, I was afraid of what he might do. It's been over a year and Thanks to living in a small town, I was just informed from someone who stopped by asking for him that he had "fallen off the wagon" and was back on coke. I never knew there was even a "coke wagon" with regards to him. never knew he did it more than once.
I will get detailed in another post, but I need to learn so that I don't put my daughter and myself in danger like that again. I also need to come to terms with the last few months of our relationship in a different way. I don't know why it's different to me, but it is. I knew something was really not right, but I just thought he hated me and was avoiding me and drinking more, staying away from the house so he didn't have to be around me. I feel stupid for not figuring it out.
Well, that's the gist of why I'm here. I look forward to meeting some new people here. thank you for listening.
Hey, I just wanted you to know not to feel stupid, even tho its hard not to, as ive felt the same way. I started dating what seemed like the perfect woman and within weeks of her moving in, i found out she was an IV meth user. She slept, ate, wasnt a twig, and i never saw any track marks. I continued to believe that she would stay sober after she cleaned up, but it was a year long circle of using, clean time, ect. Im new to this too, so i have minimal help, but i just wanted to tell you that i can relate alot to what you said and you arent alone. I hope things improve 🙂
Hi Matt and Lila, I just wanted to say that I agree with you Matt. Lila, you do not need to feel stupid. I am also new on here, so am lacking on advise for either of you.. but I have been living the abuse, lies, and daily heartbreak for over a year now and have recently (finally) found the proof to the drug abuse. I too was clueless about drugs and alcohol abuse, everything I have learnt in the last year has been eye opening and devastating to learn… and I too felt stupid for not seeing/recognizing the signs that were right in front of me. He pushed me away whenever he used, I know this now. He made it my fault, telling me that I am too needy, that I need to get a life and stop meddling in his, etc. etc. Neither of you are alone, and I truly hope you are able to find the support you are looking for here 🙂
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