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mike here… I Need Advice
My girlfriend and fiancé have been together for a couple years….a few weeks ago I found out she has been using Heroin for last 6 months… She has now relapsed 6 times
in about 5 years… I knew when we met she had been addicted but she only told me about one time and not about being a repeat relasper….
She has quit to save our relationship…clean 9 days(I tested her)
I told her that for us as a couple to stay together she MUST start some kind of rehab or????? And that we have to somehow work on all the trust issues I have….
But….she seems to have No interest in communication…she makes no effort when
I try talking…. I have told her that as a couple we MUST has a counselor to guide us thru our lack of ability to ask the right questions in the right way…..
I told her she needs some therapy or???? because its obvious she has internal issues that she keeps relapsing….
I think I'll give things another week to see a change
I do Love her dearly and to end our relationship will hurt me….But I am not waiting on the second Act of this play.
….thanks all
…mike
Hi Mike, my Bf has no interest in communicating, but I think that is because the drugs block that part of their brain. It's very painful. I feel for you. I think you should go to counseling yourself. I know I need to as well. I wonder why my ex husband was an addict and now my bf. Causing me to think a lot about myself.
I used to feel that my addict couldn't/wouldn't communicate with me. The reality was, my addict was communicating just fine, I just didn't decode the language he was speaking (which was ironic since he only spoke English). The reality was/is that his actions speak louder than any words that he spoke. He would say he would change to placate me, then just do whatever it was he actually wanted. I stopped listening with my ears and started listening to his actions. It made understanding his intentions towards me and his sobriety easier. If my addict wanted to be sober, he would take action without any prodding from me. If he wanted to use, it didn't matter what I said or how upset it made me, he would say what I wanted to hear and then head out to use. It took a lot of learning on my part to speak his language and learn how to cope with my associated emotions. Without this room, that would have never happened. I encourage you to attend the online meetings!
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