I am so confused and dont know what to do. I need help! My son has been an addict for 4 yrs, rehab on and off for 1 yr. Most recently was when I found him overdosed and aspirated- but he made it after days in an ICU- etc- you all know the story. I backed down after he didnt go in a long term rehab, and let him back in the house, after I found him living in a shed in the yard. I alternate between feeling sorry for him and being mad at him. My husband and I are not getting along now either- and I want to move out to protect myself or to avoid all this. I am trying not to enable but am so tired of the confusion.
What you are feeling is the typical chaos of being a family member of an addict. A lot of people think that addiction affects only the addict, but as all of us on this site know, that thought couldn't be further from the truth. Addiction affects the relationship not only with the addict, but among the family that surrounds them.
I am sorry to hear that you, your son and your family are on the rough road. I would like to encourage you to come to the online meetings here, or a face-to-face meeting near your home. The chat room is open all the time. Please feel free to pop in anytime. You are definitely not alone, and I think that you will find great comfort in having a place to express how you are feeling without the fear of being judged. Avoiding feelings will just extend the time you spend in your state of confusion (this applies to both your son and your husband). That being said, if you are in a position of physical harm from either of them, please find some place safe to be.
I believe that the more you learn about addiction and how it is directly affecting you, the faster that state of confusion starts to clear up. When I first came into the chat rooms, I used to refer to my husband's addiction as a hurricane. It was only after I started learning, and applying the concepts I learned to my life that the hurricane downgraded to a tropical storm, then just rain and then sunny days started to appear. It takes time, effort, and the support of people who truly understand. I hope to see you in the chat room.
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