Hi,
I’m new to this program and to this website. I’ve posted a couple of things, been to a couple of meetings. My heroin addicted fiance’s addiction has taken over my life. It takes all of my money, hence eliminating any chance of ever having nice things or a decent future, as well as forming a pretty shitty present moment most of the time. I’m sort of starting to view these meetings as a form of group therapy. At first (I’ve been to less than 5, and only one in person), I was hoping this group could fix or solve my life. I’m not interested in fixing or solving his problems so much as he’s causing problems for me, and I’m VERY interested in solving my own. I’ve had to detach from him. It’s still hard though because every time I feel like he’s using or has used, it ruins my entire day. Things are bad enough around here without that, and the reason they are bad is because of the addiction. I just want a nice, clean, comfortable environment to live in (my particular addict isn’t very clean and doesn’t seem to value or care what his home looks like at all. I want to go out every now and then (forget it, too expensive and for some reason he prefers not to go out anywhere for fun, ever), I want to travel (forget it), feel loved and valued (mostly rejected and disappointed), and not to view our home as a prison anymore. I want a completely different life, and other people don’t understand why I don’t just leave. They have no patience or sympathy and don’t want to hear about it anymore. I’ve come here as a sort of last resort. I’m desperate. I don’t understand this addiction, but I understand I don’t like it. Thank you for letting me share.
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