Hi Guys,
My name is Hope and my husband is an addict. He has been clean and sober for 10 years now. I meet him in year 7. Our relationship moved very quickly and it has been a hard ride. I've never seen his addicted side but he has asked me several times to go to an Al Anon meeting. He goes to AA because he says it is less drama than NA. His choice of drug was cocaine which started from oxycontin after he had fell off of a roof I believe. He doesn't like to talk much about his past or his addiction so I always found it hard for me to discuss it when I don't know what I'm discussing. A lot of the problems in our relationship come from poor communication. His mother always labeled him as Austistic so I knew the relationship would be harder and different. He pulled away about 6 months into the relationship and I just took it as him dealing with his mother terminal illness. We eventually just existed together and that was hard especially with my daughter. She was 3 when we meet. He is the only dad she knows as her biological father passed away when she was 1. We got married in 2017 and we just existed still. Never fought or anything like that. No violence or screaming or anything. But there were remarks that I know see are all apart of mental abuse. To not fight I never said anything back. I would just get angry and keep quiet. In April of this year he called it quits and said we were done. It was like a rug ripped from under me. I knew we weren't at a great point but his mother had passed and I thought I was letting him get through it because he never wanted to talk about it and didnt want my help. After a month and half he asked if I would go to counseling which I agreed to. First and only session everything was my fault. I had changed, I had left myself go, I became a different person. Blah blah blah. All my fault. I was like bullshit. I'm not keeping quiet anymore. I found out he had some processing disorders but I'm not thinking that brings on the blame game and down talking. Maybe he has something to do with it but since he asked me again to go to a meeting to better understand him here I am. Having an online option is amazing especially with having my daughter. Ahe doesn't need to hear everything going on. But I did tell him something needs to change because I'm done with the blame game and being talked down to. If it doesn't change and get better I'll walk. I do love him. I don't think he has ever truly had that back. I dont think he knows how to deal with it but I'm also not here to fix someone. I've done it doe so long and lost myself these past 4 years and I'm not doing it any more.
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