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Hi, I'm Maxine.
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Central Valley, CA

1 Posts
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March 31, 2020 - 5:19 pm

I’m new to nar-anon in general. My girlfriend of a year and a half is an addict (her drugs of choice being meth and heroin), and I’m a recovering addict (no real DOC, but used heroin most frequently). I’ll have 2 years clean on May 13, and my girlfriend is in rehab and has 7 days as of today. I never did 12 steps, rehab, or meetings in general myself. I’ve been to some outpatient family groups with my girlfriend over the past few months. Other than stuff she’s told me, and stuff I’ve learned in family groups, I’m mostly unfamiliar with the 12 steps process. Thankfully I’m pretty comfortable in my recovery at this point despite that, and even finding substances and paraphernalia in her room (as I deep search/clean it for when she comes home) hasn’t caused many issues for me other than worry for her and being mildly triggered. I’ve made sure to reach out to others for help with that and that’s helped immensely in keeping myself on track.

It’s been a rough week. I thought she was sober from everything since January, from meth since October, and I didn’t even know she was using heroin. She even accepted her 30 day chip while still using. She’s turned that into me for now, since meetings have been cancelled and she can’t turn it in there yet. She initially went to the rehab for overusing pain meds, and everything else came out over the last week. I’m relieved to know everything now, and she’s ready to be honest and try her best which is all that I expect right now. Right now my ground rule and only boundary for her is expecting honesty. I can handle the ups and downs of recovery as long as she’s honest with me, her sponsor, and in meetings. But of course this is scary and I feel kinda lost at what I can do. I’m hoping I can learn skills to help myself through this and help her in any way possible.

They’ve cut down on staff, meetings, and activities at the rehab she’s at due to COVID-19. She’s the only woman there and only person there with chronic pain issues, and feels pretty isolated. I’m not sure how to cope with that or how to encourage her to cope with that. The timing of everything is unfortunate, and I’m worried it’s gonna negatively affect her recovery because they can’t give the patients there the amount of help they normally can. This is the first time the entire truth of everything has been laid out, the first time she’s been in rehab, and the first time in almost a year that she’ll be able to honestly say she has 30 days clean (once she gets out). I’m both hopeful and worried for the future, we both agree this is a turning point for her in her recovery, but due to the circumstances it’s been hard to get the help she needs. She has a sponsor and knows I’ll be by her side, while knowing everything, now though. She has codes to online meetings for when she gets out as well.

I’m really looking forward to learning more from steps and the experiences of others here, especially during this tough time.

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