Just wanted to introduce myself and be friendly. I'm a 36 year old handfasted wife, a non-denominational minister and pregnant with my first child who is due June 5, 2015. (No handfastings are not legally binding in KY where I am located) I am here because of my AH. There are times I really need someone to talk to, and he's definitely not the one I can talk to. Nor are my family or friends. No one knows about the addiction, or how I am coping with it. They only know I'm not myself, and chalk it up to the pregnancy.
I have never been an addict. This is my addict's 2nd DOC we're dealing with now. The first, I helped him get rid of and he went cold turkey with my medical knowledge watching him 24/7. He's been clean of it since the first week of January 2015. His second DOC we are now dealing with, he has had issues with since 2009, and I did not know he had the problem that long. I thought it was recent, and he finally told me differently. He is now using yet another illegal item to deal with the withdrawals from his DOC.
I know I cannot change him, he has to change himself. I know I cannot make him stop, he has to want to stop himself. I know I cannot control his actions, he has to be an adult and do this himself. I know I cannot effect him, as his addiction is stronger than I am. I do know that I can control myself, have boundaries that I stick to and cope with this in the healthiest way possible. I have not ever been to a meeting, as I am scared of the consequences of my going #1 if he found out and #2 I'd have to see the look on an addict's face when I spout my own hurt. Therefore I have chosen to take part here, where I don't have to see the look on anyone's face, but can still get the support I feel I need and I can give in return. Thank you for being here, and thank you for allowing me to take part.
Hello. This is my first time online but i do attend face to face meetings. First of all. You're at the right place, and I'm glad you wrote. My addict is als my husband. His addiction is affecting e and has been, and I am at the point of "detaching with love" but detaching. The disease of addiction hurts all who love and care for the addict…yet they continue to spiral out of control with little regard to our feelings. I would strongly encourage you to do s a NarAnon meeting. It has helped me in more ways than you can imagine. Like you said….we can't tell our family because they won't, can't undestan WHY we stay or "allow" this behavior. I encourage you to find support for YOU, and your unborn child, because you have to focus on YOU! The only thing we can control is ourselves….and you'll be amazed at how much talking to people who "get it" helps you…they don't judge, don't offer advice, just encourage you to take care of you. We have our own 12 Steps….
I understand not wanting him to know, but at some point you will find your own voice, and value yourself and that is the most freeing part of this program! Good luck to you and Iwosh you well. Talk to you again sometime, I'm sure! Keep coming back!
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