Hello,
My name is Stephanie. I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for or where is the right place for me, but I know that I need help.
My husband's grandma (Kay) is the only parental figure in his life. His mom died when he was 14 and he doesn't talk to his father for a number of reasons. Kay is his mom's mom, so she was really impacted by her death as well. For the past 15 years since she had knee surgery, Kay has been shopping around with different opioids. In March of this year, we almost lost her. We got a call from the hospital that she was in a state of psychosis. We knew she was on Oxycodone instant tablets, Fentanyl, Nuerontin, Anti-Depressants and some other medications. The psychosis began after she had driven herself to the hospital for stomach issues. My dad is an emergency room physician and we put our heads together while she was in the ICU and realized when the hospital gave her Zofran, it triggered serotonin syndrome and she almost lost her life.
She had a fabulous doctor who we were able to work with and who saw the issues with addiction. I sat with her in the hospital until she knew who she was again, and then we quickly purchased a condo for her to move out by us and get a fresh start. She doesn't have a relationship with her other two children, so my husband as her grandson, along with his brother and his wife, pretty much completely take care of this 80 year old woman. Lately, every single day has become a struggle. She is getting mean because she wants us to give her her old marijuana card, she started drinking, and she keeps threatening going back to a pain management clinic. We recently discovered she's back on gabapentin and taking way more than the prescribed dosage. We just aren't quite sure what to do anymore. She's 80 years old and we want to be around her and do fun things, but it's hard when her whole life is her disease and she displaces so much of her anger and frustration onto us. We know she actually is in fabulous physical health for her age, which makes this all the more sad to witness.
I don't know when to draw a healthy boundary vs when I'm enabling her. I just always feel like I need a nap 🙁
– Stephanie
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