Nar-Anon Chat™

My story began back on September 10, 2005 when my son who is my addicted loved one was 20 years old. We had just found out he was a heroin addict when our pastor took him to the ER.

The pastor had stopped in the grocery store where my son, Ben, worked and could tell there was something wrong. Ben had gotten into my prescription of ritalin and taken 2 or 3 of my pills that were prescribed to me. My pastor took Ben to the ER because Ben was very upset and admitted to taking my medication. Pastor called me to tell me they were on their way so my husband (Ben's stepdad) and I headed to the ER. ER doctor did an EKG on Ben to make sure his heart rhythm was ok, and it was. After the EKG the Dr. looked at Ben's arms and asked him how long he had been shooting up. Ben said just a couple times……

I never heard anything else….I fell apart there in the ER. I was heartbroken, crushed, completely saddened and could not quit crying….to find out there that my son was a heroin addict. We had no idea he was even using drugs let alone heroin.

Ben's father passed away from cancer when Ben was 16. I had gotten him counseling but it wasn't enough. He started dabbling in drugs between 17 and 18 years old. At 19 he started doing heroin and it didn't take long till he was shooting up. We had no clue. His answers to us always made sense as to why he wore long sleeves in the summer….his job was in the freezer department at the grocery store. He was tired because he was working and also going to school full time learning to be an electrician. The CD's and DVD's weren't at home because he had loaned them out. We had money missing and I knew it had to be him but he would deny it. It was such a horrible roller coaster ride with addiction. I hated it. When we found out about the addiction, I made up my mind I was going to do my best to keep him away from drugs. I drove him the 1 hour 30 min ride to the school every day and I hung out in a shopping center parking lot from 7:30 AM till he got out of school at 2:30 PM. I spent a lot of time in prayer and reading my Bible during those days. He only had a month of school left. We also found out that he had missed some school because of doing drugs.

When his school was finished, he was able to go to rehab, where he spent his 21st birthday. He also missed his graduation where he would have received his certificate to be an electrician. The rehab didn't work so he went on Suboxone for a month or so. That didn't last. He just couldn't stay clean. He wasn't hitting his bottom. He went to rehab a 2nd time which didn't last either. He still was using heroin. He went to rehab the 3rd time and spent his 22nd birthday there. While he was there, we told him that if he stole from us again or used again, he would be out of our home because he still lived with us. He agreed to this. It was only a few months after he had been to rehab that I was making out bills one Saturday morning. There was a check missing out of the checkbook.I asked my husband and he had not gotten it out of the checkbook. Ben was home. I don't even remember the expression on Ben's face, but my husband told him to get 2 garbage bags and put his clothes in them….that he was out. Ben had been using again and stole the check from us. We had to make him leave our home. I cried, Ben cried. He didn't want to go…but we had to stick by our word. We had had enough. We couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't take his truck because it was in my name and it was going to stay here. My husband took him to an ex-girlfriend's place where he stayed for 3 days. Then she decided she didn't want him there anymore so I picked him up and took him to a motel. He had enough money to stay a night. Then we did pay for him to stay the night after. The following day I took him to see his PO. He tested dirty. They took him away in handcuffs. My heart was broken all over again.

I had always told him if he ever went to jail I would NOT be going to visit him. And I didn't. He spent 15 days in jail. He went from jail back to the inpatient rehab for the 4th time. It worked. He hit his bottom. He has been clean since mid-July 2007. He now has over 11 ½ years clean.

When my husband and I made him leave our home, he finally did hit his bottom. It may not work for everyone. But it worked for us. Thanks for taking the time to read this L O N G post. There always is hope!!!

Love,
Robin