Hello everyone.
I am new here. My husband is currently in a residential treatment program. We had our first family session today and his counselor recommended that I get involved with nar-anon meetings. Unfortunately, due to COVID, meetings are not taking place currently. I feel lost. I really want to be involved in these meetings before he comes home.
My husband and I were married in October of 2018. Shortly after, I found out that he was addicted to heroin. I lived in the same home as him and didn’t even know. I’m not sure how to even write “my story” because I do not know what is true and what is not. His addiction has made me feel insane. I never know what to believe. I am left constantly questioning everything. My husband is extremely good at lying to me and manipulating me. I truly love him, so I want to believe his lies. I hid his addiction from everyone for so long. He was terribly embarrassed, but hiding his addiction was so hard for me. I was pretending to be happy, but really my world felt like it was falling apart.
Today on the phone, he said the same things over to me that he has told me in the past and I just started to panic (“This time is different”, “I will prove myself to you”, etc.). I know I have a lot to learn. I feel so weak. I have always had issues with confrontation and standing up for myself. I have basically no self-confidence. I just want things to be good again. I don’t have any idea what to do or how to act when he comes home. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust him again.
1 Guest(s)