Hi….I really don't know where to begin. My fiancé of 4 years had a drug addiction for many years ( heroin, crack, cocaine, pills, alcohol, etc.) He stopped cold turkey about 3 years ago. He seems to always replace drugs with something else…whether it be chewing tobacco, beer, daily use of OTC painkillers, pornography, etc. I've become such a nervous wreck. I'm always full of anxiety and depression. He hides things from me constantly and lies about it to my face and swears he's no lying when he is. He apologizes when I find out he's lying and tells me he doesn't mean to hurt me and he doesn't know why he does things that do hurt me. He promises all the time it won't happen again but it always does. I have lost trust in him completely. I have a 10 year old from a previous relationship and my fiancé and I have a 2 1/2 year old. I try so hard to stay in this relationship but it's killing me. I've been suffering stomach issues for a year and a half now and doctors think it's all stress related. He doesn't think he needs help and he gets so defensive and tells me that my trust issues are something I'm going to have to learn to get over. That's not going to happen. My therapist told me about naranon and here I am. I love him but I need to let go and start focusing on my kids and taking care of myself.
Your more than half way there. First, by saying you have to take care of yourself is one of the biggest steps to HOPE. You only have control of yourself so your actions should focus on your desires for your today and tomorrow. Second, if you are secure enough to fulfill your desires then go for it and lastly….. speak to your God as often as you can. He will be there and He will listen …. the steps help you through this time and even groups are an awesome time of enlightenment AS LONG AS you learn to find the reasons for your own actions as well as your addict and change your behavior in specific reactions to the circumstances surrounding you. In effect, if you change your behaviors, this will affect a change in your addict.
Hi there! You are not alone i feel like you were talking about my feelings!. Pls feel free to read my introdection that i just posted but i just too that small step to realize my health serenity and sanity HAD to come first. I left 3vdats ago and am stillvdealing w him cuz of my 15 yr old son hes trying again to make me feel bad and being suuuuper nice but im not falling for his shit this time. You just have to think of what is best for you and ur kids.
Hello, my name is Hannah. I am new to nar-anon as well and facing a similar situation. I guess the detail are different but the core situation is the same. I am so glad to be here and able to have people to talk with that have similar situations. I am also an addict, I have been clean for 3 year and I am happier than I have ever been within myself. I understand the struggle from both sides and even though I love my fiance very, very much, I am going to have to move on from this relationship for my own wellbeing. This is hard it really helps to know we are not alone and we are all here to support one another.
As I was reading this, all I could think was that I could have written this. I have so many thoughts and feelings running through my head now I am not sure how to can put them all down in a coherent manner. The lying, the loss of trust are the hardest. I would like to support you. This is my first post here. I am not ready to share my story; but know people here care about you and know exactly what you are feeling. God speed.
1 Guest(s)