first I would like to say… I've been needing someone to talk to for a while. Second Id like to say that those of you who have been on here for years have loyalties to each other. But why be rude my 2nd attempt in the chat room? All I wanted/needed was to talk to an actual person, in real time. I know I'm not where some of you are. That yall are experiencing things much deeper and harder. But I'm a person and I have feelings and worries. My situation may not be the worst position I could be in, but I'm worried. And a nervous wreck. I have an anxiety disorder on top of what I'm dealing with.
Now, I'm 24 years old. My boyfriend is 34 and he is an addict. He goes to a methadone clinic. And he takes 95mgs a day. I never knew him while he was using. We've been together for a year and 3 months. We've been living together since August of last year. He is an amazing human being. He treats me like a princess(most days) and he has a job. He helps pay bills. And he is handsome.
You see, that's not what's worrying me. I'm worried because even though he has been clean for two years… Which I thought up until recently that it was 4 years…. That means it was only 9 months before we got together that he was using. He had been clean for a couple years before that but relapsed… And also recently found out that since we started dating he tried to shoot up his methadone. His story is "I tried but I couldn't hit a vein so I didn't " …. But according to him this was closer to the beginning. The reason that I came across this information was because I found needles in our apartment. And there was a fight and he was throwing things and he was going to leave because I wouldn't believe that he didn't use them. Even though there was methadone in them. Inside the needles. Whoa.
So who used them?
According to him, which he just recently told me, that his friend Matt had came and hour and a half to where we live so that my boyfriend could buy him needles and Matt used them. Not him.
There's more… But first someone needs to reach out to me so I can talk to them personally…. Apparently the chat room isn't going to work for me… So please… Someone…
Good Evening and welcome,
I am glad you found us and am sorry that you feel slighted. I would like to start by offering you an explanation about the chat room. It can and will work for you. Unfortunately when you entered tonight, you popped in right in the middle of the scheduled meeting and did not notice the private message marker on the bottom of your app welcoming you and letting you know the meeting was going on. I wish you had hung in there for a few more minutes because the meeting was concluding and you would have had a handful of people to chat with. The evenings tend to have more people, but others pop in and out throughout the day.
As for chatting, I would be happy to set up a time for us to chat. I have been where you are and know how frustrating it is to feel like lies are all around. While I am off to bed for tonight, I will make a conscious effort to be in the chat room tomorrow morning for a couple of hours in hopes that you pop in to chat. If not, you are more than welcome to email me and we can start corresponding via that way. I don't want you to feel alone because you are not alone. There are plenty in the same boat that you are and talking helps….A LOT!
So give the chat room another chance, or email me directly.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Nicole
** you do not have permission to see this link **
p.s. If you head back into the chat room there are at least a couple of people in there now.
1 Guest(s)