Hi. I’m Megan. I was in Nar-Anon previously and attended in-person meetings for about 4 years about 10 years ago. My husband is my addict. We’ve been together for 20 years and we’re still married. Things have been up and down. He’s gotten sober and then struggled with prescribed meds several times (as in he takes more than his dosage or combines alcohol with his prescriptions when he’s not supposed to. I’ve been to therapy for 4 straight years now, going on 5, and my husband has been in therapy for a short time back a couple of years ago.
Recently, he’s struggled with his ADHD medication. He hasn’t had a major relapse, just a “lapse” as my therapist refers to it. He’ll take more than he’s prescribed and although I’m not sure if he’s doing it to get high, it makes me uncomfortable that he isn’t following the exact directions on his medication. In short, I would like him to stop taking the medication. He has ADHD and claims that it helps him focus at his job and, since he has a blue collar job that can be dangerous working conditions, I hear where he’s coming from.
I really need some guidance. I’ve been looking through my NAR-ANON literature and trying to be calm about all of this, but I’m so triggered by his behavior. Even though I can see that this is small potatoes compared to when he was bottomed out on meth 19 years ago or when he was smoking weed daily 15 years ago, I see that he’s come a long way but don’t want to minimize things that feel wrong or unhealthy to me. I also worry about him manipulating me and me ignoring the red flags because he’s so much healthier than he used to be. In short, I need some perspective from someone in Nar-Anon. My therapist is great, but sometimes when it comes to stuff with being married to an addict, it helps to have someone who has “been there” to process my thoughts with. I had a sponsor a long time ago, but no longer have her contact info and the group I was in has fallen apart. Plus, with 3 kids and a job, I don’t even know how I would make time to get to a physical meeting now…
Anyway, there’s more to the story but I’ll start there.
Thanks for being here and please let me know if I should elaborate on the corner I feel placed in currently.
-Megan
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