Nar-Anon Chat™

Hello my name is Olga, thank you for letting me share. My 28 years old son is an addict. He has been using all sorts of drugs since he turned 19, but his drug of choice is heroine, Over dosed once from it and has gotten in serous legal problems because of it. He does not have a job. He has gone to detox twice in the last three years, he was outpatient on a rehab center for over a year, he also goes to NA meetings regularly, and he has a Sponsor. He has been on Suboxone for about 2 years and yet he continues to use heroine often. Clearly he has not committed seriously to his recovery and it seems like I am the only one who sees through him, he passes drug tests without any problems he goes to this meetings sometimes high and no one seems to notice it, he gets home high an my husband doesn’t realize it. I have an older son who absolutely hates and gets violent with his brother for using drugs. My husband is a very loving and devoted dad but is and has been very permissive since both our sons were very little. I am and have always been extremely protective as well as excessively generous with both our sons, which in turn makes an enabler. After coming to terms with my short comings and realizing, that no matter how hard I have tried , I can not help my son with his disease nor can I dictate a path for him to take . I have decided that I need to take charge of my life again and to heal myself but I am not strong enough to do it on my own nor do I have the support needed to do it. My life is consumed and to some extent controlled by my sons disease I need to stop this madness somehow but I am afraid to abandon him and I fear that if I do he will get worse if am not there to catch him