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I am struggling with a really recent breakup with my ex partner. She told me she needs time alone to get better and dumped me. She’s struggling with addiction to weed and is using alcohol to cope with not doing well in university/ family struggles/ mental illness. We took a no-contact break for about a month and she left me Monday over the phone. I feel like I wasn’t loved enough, I feel like I was less important than the weed/alcohol. I feel like her friends are really bad influence on her. I feel so alone and betrayed. I understand she has been struggling a lot. She told me she doesn’t wanna drag me down with her. She brags about being a “stoner” etc and I think it’s because she’s lost who she really is. I try so hard not to take it personally since addiction is a disease and her mental illness can make her cope in the wrong ways. I wish she got help sooner when I suggested it. I loved her so much… I feel like this was my fault.
Flittler,
I have learned many things by going to Nar-anon meetings that have helped me to cope with the grief that comes when dealing with someone who suffers with the disease of addiction. One of the things that I have learned is that I cannot control the addict. I did not make them use nor can I make them stop using. The only one I can control is me and how I respond to the addict. If you can make it to one of our meetings, I would strongly encourage you to do so. You will discover many people who are dealing with struggles just like you are. And you will also find a lot of support and learn a lot that will help you to work through the grief you are feeling.
I also am struggling with my adult daughters addiction to opioids. At this time she seems to be doing all the right things. However, she is keeping the addict boyfriend in her life. I recently started going to meetings. Very helpful. But how do you to deal with extreme sadness. I cannot lie I probably cry everyday for her and her future. Help me please deal with this overwhelming sadness!!
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