Nar-Anon Chat™

I feel that my husband and I are so far behind in our knowledge. Our life has spun out of control very quickly. Our daughter is 21 a junior in college and at the very end of April shocked us with she needed to go to detox. We knew she had been working with the drug task force because she said she wanted to help get dealers off the streets of our town. She had told us that she knew some pretty bad people through other friends and wanted to get them off the streets. She has lived in an apartment from her brother, and then recently moved with him into his new house. All of a sudden she tells us she can't live this double life anymore. The one she really is, and the one she presents to us, her family. She has been doing IV Heroin since Christmas she told us. We have been trying to be supportive, but are going through a huge range of emotions. While in detox, we found out she stole her brother's Xbox and all the extras apparently to sell. She couldn't sell the Xbox so she sold the cords and attachments and threw the Xbox in the trash never to be found. Then I found that all of my family heirloom jewelry had been stolen from me. My husband and I own our own business and found that our petty cash was always out of synch. But then it all made sense by the time she was in detox. Fortunately, our county mental health paid for her detox because of her help. We are friends with the head of the drug department and feel hurt that we weren't told about her using but understand somewhat why. We sent her to Florida to a pricey rehab facility to spend 45 days getting her act together. Now she is back trying to put the pieces together. She moved out of our town and is living on the same property with a friend from detox and three of the detox buddies are going to the same IOP. But we know nothing of her story, very little of her using, she is very defensive but is trying to break the lying mode which is apparently very difficult for her. How do we cope with all the lack of information from her, trying to get caught up and dealing with every stop on the emotional spectrum when she is around us? I have been reading a lot: 12 and 12, Loving our Addicted Daughters, A Million Little Pieces, An Addict in the House, There's More than One Way to Cleveland but I am finding no solace in our emotional battle. I hate her, I love her, I support her, I want her to be far away, I am embarrassed. Where do we go from here? We live in a town where everyone knows us, so we feel we can't go to anything local.