Taken from: First Aid for Enablers by Dr. David Curry
Enabling is any behavior that removes or softens the consequences of addiction, thereby making it easier for the addict to continue to use drugs.
Take this simple quiz to see if you are enabling or are tempted to enable.
1. Have you ever called in sick for the addict because he/she was too hung-over to go to work or school?
2. Do you ever make excuses for the addicts drug use or behavior?
3. Have you ever lied to anyone to cover up for the addict?
4. Have you ever bailed the addict out of jail or paid his/her legal fees?
5. Have you accepted part of the blame for the addicts behavior?
6. Do you avoid talking about the addicts drug use out of fear of the response?
7. Have you paid bills that the addict was supposed to have paid?
8. Have you loaned the addict money?
9. Have you tried using with the addict in hopes of strengthening the relationship?
10. Have you given the addict âone more chance and then another, and another?
11. Have you threatened to leave if the addict didnt stop using but then didnât leave?
12. Have you finished a job or project that the addict failed to complete?
13. Do you find yourself worrying about a person in ways that consume your time, or do you find yourself trying to come up with solutions to his problems rather than letting him/her do the solving?
14. Do you find yourself afraid for this person, or convinced that he/she âcannot handleâ a situation or relationship without âfalling apartâ?
15. Do you ever do something for him/her that he/she could and even should be doing?
16. Do you ever excuse his/her behavior as being a result of âstress, misunderstand, or difficulty coping,â even when the behavior hurts or inconveniences you?
17. Have you talked to someone for him/her as a way of reducing his/her pain?
18. Do you worry that you may not be doing enough for him/her?
19. Do you ever feel you have a unique and special relationship with him/her, unlike anyone else he may know?
20. Do you feel protective of him/her â even though he/she is an adult and is old enough and capable of taking care of his life?
21. Do you ever wish others in his life would change their behavior or attitudes to make things easier for him/her?
22. Do you feel responsible for getting him/her help?
23. Do you feel reluctant to refer him/her to a source of help or assistance, uncertain if another person can understand or appreciate the addictâs situation the way you do?
24. Do you ever feel manipulated by this person but ignore your feelings?
25. Do you ever feel that no one understands him/her as you do?
Never look down on someone unless you're leaning over to help them up.
1 Guest(s)